Feeling Lazy

So yesterday while aimlessly surfing the web and wondering why I wasn't doing something more productive I came across this interview with Mayim Bialik. You probably remember her as Blossom from the early 90's TV of the same name or maybe you saw her as the young Bette Midler in Beaches. Anyway, Blossom has ditched her pal Six and the floppy hats and is now a baby-wearing, home-birthing, granola-making mother of two. Just reading about her life tires me out.

Not only does she cook vegan and kosher meals for her family. She nurses her children until they self wean (the older one weaned around age 2), makes her own shampoo and practices elimination communication. If you're not familiar, EC is a technique where you watch your infant for signs that he needs to go the bathroom. Then you hold him over the toilet. She has been holding her son over the toilet 10 times a day since he was 2 days old! Oh and she also auditions and does some grant review work in her spare time.

Mothers like Mayim Bialik are amazing, and I admire them, but I'm starting to feel a bit like Peg Bundy. When Baby M was an infant, opening a can of soup was about all I could manage and even now we eat a little too frequently from Trader Joe's freezer aisle. I took a stab at potty training, but am too impatient, or selfish or lazy to sit next to him on the potty 3 times a day. Other moms in the neighborhood seem to have vaccination schedules memorized, their kids in multiple toddler programs and are already calculating their LAUSD "points" for getting into the kindergarten of their choice.

Not only do I find the logistics of managing all these tasks unwieldy, I also find them kind of unnecessary. My doctor knows the vaccination schedule and I trust her judgement. Baby M is happy going to the park and the occasional Moo Moo Musica class, does he really need a structured program at 20 months old? Why should I spend hours figuring out the labyrinthine LA Unified system when my local school is perfectly fine and within walking distance? Besides, if I was cooking and researching and sitting next to the potty all day how would I ever find time to keep up to date on the cast of Blossom?

Headless

Baby M woke up bawling today around 5:30 am. I went in to check on him and found him standing with his pajama top up over his head, gesturing wildly and pointing to where his head should have been. It was so cute that I didn't even mind waking up an hour early.

Crib Diver

Well the thing I've been fearing finally happened. Baby M jumped out of his crib. Maybe he climbed out. Maybe he fell. Whatever he did, it make a tremendous THUD when he landed on our hardwood floors and scared me half to death. Baby M was a bit rattled, but other than that he escaped unscathed.

I completely blame myself for this tumble. As you may recall, Baby M has been taking his nap in the car or stroller ever since I weaned him 4 months ago. The nap situation has been more or less working for us, but I think he'll be more comfortable in his crib and it is a bit inconvenient to have to drive or walk around for 20 minutes or more at naptime. So this last week I made a concerted effort to get him napping in his crib. Each day I took him for a walk or drive just before naptime in order to get him sleepy and then brought him inside, read a story and put him in the crib for his nap. He cried, but remained laying down and would generally fall asleep within 10 minutes.

On Saturday I continued with the process, but a few things mucked it up. First off Baby M was playing in the backyard with his dad and was not too keen on going on a walk. Secondly, the walk, when it finally happened, just wasn't as sleep inducing as it normally is. Lastly, Baby M cried for more than 10 minutes. Remembering our old sleep training books (but forgetting our old sleep training experiences) my husband and I decided to go in and comfort Baby M by telling him we were still here, that he needed to lay down and we'd play with him after his nap. When we left he was screaming and looked like an angry tomato. A few seconds later we heard the THUD. I should have known that going in the room would only increase his desire to get out of the crib and that after so much screaming the nap was just not going to happen. I knew there was a reason I never felt right about sleep training.

So now we are back to napping in the car, picking up a crib tent and shopping for toddler beds on Craigslist. Oddly enough, by car-hating husband seems intent on getting Baby M a race car bed. Must be some unfulfilled wish from his childhood fueld by too many episodes of Silver Spoons.

None of the Above

Baby M is nearly 20 months old and has definite ideas about nearly everything-- how and when to eat, what book to read, which form of transportation to use, what to wear, etc. Every book I've read about toddlers suggests that the key to a happy child is offering him a choice. "Do you want to wear the red bib or the blue bib?" "Shall we take the stroller or walk?" The idea is that by allowing him a choice you give the toddler some control over the situation. He feels empowered and doesn't throw a tantrum. This all sounds good in theory and I've actually seen other moms employ the technique successfully on the playground. Tantrums have been avoided simply by saying, "Oh look, you can play with the green shovel or the fire truck, which do you want?"

Baby M, however, is too smart to fall for this ploy. When I ask him if he would like peas or broccoli he twists around in the high chair and points to the refrigerator shouting "Toast! Toast!" If I say "Let's pick a bib to wear," he wails "Noooo!" He has already learned that just because something isn't displayed doesn't mean it's not available.

It's nice to know that he is going to be an independent thinker and not feel compelled to accept what he is offered. On the other hand, I am really worried about how terrible those terrible twos are going to be. So far Baby M's tantrums have been manageable. We have a few outbursts each day, but the number of kicking and screaming, out-of-control eruptions has been minimal and I'm hoping to keep it that way. Since the whole "choice" strategy isn't working, I'd love to hear other suggestions for avoiding toddler tantrums.

Baby Scientist

Today Baby M was sitting on the floor with some crayons, a pencil and a ball point pen. He was doing a pretty good job of confining his scribbles to the giant pad of paper from Michael's until a particularly energetic scrawl with the pen went careening off the paper and onto Baby M's shin. Baby M stopped and stared at the blue ink on his leg. He rubbed it. He furrowed his brow. Then he picked up the blue crayon and tried to write on his leg. Apparently his hypothesis was that anything blue could write on skin. When the crayon didn't leave a mark on his right leg, he tried writing on his left. Then he picked up the pencil and tried the experiment again. I love watching Baby M learn about his environment. It's really amazing to see the way he figures things out. I mean, really, how do you know that the skin on your right leg is going to act exactly the same as the skin on your left? Then he grabbed the pen again and I could see where his investigation was headed, so I quickly traded him a silver crayon for the pen and averted a potential disaster. I do love watching Baby M learn about the world, but I'm not quite ready for him to be on an episode of LA Ink.

Baby on a Plane

Last week we took a trip to Ann Arbor, Michigan to visit some dear friends and meet their 15 month old, Baby Z. We had a wonderful time; went to the Hands On Museum, hung out at Allmendinger Park, explored the Natural History Museum. We even got to have a night out at the Ark watching Chelsea Williams. When it was time to leave Baby M gave Baby Z a hug and a kiss, stole his cup of Cheerios and we were on our way.

This trip wasn't Baby M's first time on a plane. Nine months ago we took a short flight up the coast to attend my brother's wedding in Northern California. But this was his first long flight and the first flight where I didn't have the option of sticking a boob in his face to calm him down. The flight to Michigan was long, oversold and we ended up sitting for a hour on the tarmac while the crew fixed a mechanical problem. Baby M did well, although the woman in the seat in front of us did not appreciate his fascination with the fold out tray. The flight home was also oversold and Baby M was grouchy from the get go. He was flying as a "lap child" but didn't want to sit with me or my husband. He wanted to crawl around on the floor under the seats, which, as a flight attendant helpfully announced over the intercom, is unsafe. To keep him quiet we plied him with snacks-- everything from my husband's Taco Bell nachos to Annie's Bunny Grahams. About two hours into the 4 and a half hour flight Baby M barfed all over my husband. Thankfully, he missed splashing our row mate and the passengers in the row behind us, but it was still pretty unpleasant for anyone within 15 feet of us.

I must commend my husband's courage as he remained calm and still as Baby M hurled repeatedly onto his chest and shoulder. My husband does not like to be dirty and I was honestly surprised that he did not throw Baby M into my lap at the first sign of spittle. Once the gagging subsided, he took Baby M into the bathroom to get him washed up while I did my best to clean the seat with a receiving blanket and the paper towels and cup of water (with ice!?!) that the flight attendant brought me. Once the seat was as good as it was going to get, I joined the boys in the teeny-tiny airplane lavatory to assess the damage. Baby M, glad to be someplace other than row 15, was in surprisingly good spirits. We got him changed and washed up. My husband's shirt was a lost cause. We shoved it down the lavatory trash chute and I brought him another shirt from his bag. Luckily all of our luggage was carry on (we are efficient packers and too cheap to pay the checked baggage fee). I always carry a spare outfit for Baby M in my diaper bag, but we never would have thought to bring a spare outfit for Daddy. Even with this somewhat sour ending, our trip to Ann Arbor was great and we learned a few tips for our next airplane ride with Baby M (mainly Taco Bell and babies don't mix).

Trash Man

Baby M is obsessed with trash. He said the word "trash" before he said "Mama". He eagerly awaits trash day and with 3 separate trucks coming down our street (garbage, recycling and green waste) our Mondays are very busy with lots of pointing and shouting "truck." He also likes pointing out trash on the ground. Getting across the park can take all day as he gestures at every plastic bottle cap, cigarette but and stray candy wrapper. But what he really loves, at times seems to lives for, is throwing away trash. When we're at home he'll take his used tissue, walk confidently over to the cabinet under the sink, toss it in the trash and then smile at me proudly. When we're out he'll stand in front of the trash can with his arms raised waiting to be lifted up so he can throw away his granola bar wrapper. At Starbucks he loves dropping empty cups into the little round hole in the counter. But apparently the world is not producing enough trash for Baby M so he had decided to take things into his own hands.

Today he pulled all his swim diapers out of the nearly full package and ran into the kitchen with the wrapper shouting "trash! trash!" Yesterday he found a box of gelatin packets in the cupboard, dumped them out and tried to throw the empty box away. I showed Baby M the cute Easter card his uncle sent and it immediately went into the trash, along with some unpaid bills that I had carelessly placed on the coffee table.

Perhaps this janitorial calling is genetic. Baby M's 3 year old, bilingual cousin is also enamored of litter. In a somewhat disturbing Christmas tradition, we open our presents and then wave the wrapping paper in the air shouting "basura, basura" and wait for Baby J to come and collect it in his big black garbage bag. Come to think of it, this last Christmas Baby M helped his cousin carry that bag around so I suppose I should have seen this latest development coming.