The Old In/Out

For several weeks now Baby M has been very big on taking things OUT-- blocks out of the wagon, pajamas out of the drawer, Tupperware out of the cupboard. Lately however, he has gotten very keen on putting things IN. Of course, he has not really mastered the concept of putting things back IN to the place that they came OUT of. Hence, I am constantly finding blocks with my dish towels, remote controls in the potted plants and pacifiers in the mail slot. Occasionally he does seem to make a connection between an object and where it belongs, like the time he started throwing the stack of clean diapers into his diaper pail or the time he took my dirty socks out of the hamper and put them into the basket of clean laundry waiting to be folded. He didn't quite get it right, but I had to give him an A for effort.

In my multitude of parenting books, I read that constantly restricting babies from exploring would result in fearful children and that obsessively tidying up after your child could cause low self-esteem. I think the idea was that if your baby spends all this time carefully distributing his toys around his room, it is disrespectful to sweep them all back into the toy chest in one fell swoop; you should admire his work. Since I'm the type of person who has a hard time asking for extra ketchup packets, I want to do all I can to raise a confident child. Although sometimes I have to wonder if I have taken this idea of "letting babies explore" a little too far. As part of my baby proofing efforts I consolidated all of the dangerous materials into a few cupboards so now Baby M pretty much has the run of the house. What this means is that by the end of the day my kitchen floor is covered in Tupperware, the living room is strewn with magazines and the bedrooms look like Mervyn's after a post-holiday sale. What do you think, will Baby M be doomed to a pusillanimous life if he doesn't get to throw old newspapers all over the floor?

Walking in LA

We are lucky to live in a community where there are lots of shops and resources within walking distance. Actually, it is not just luck, a walkable community was a priority for us and we gave up living in a bigger or nicer house so that we could live in our neighborhood. I try do most of my errands on foot-- I can walk to the grocery store, the drug store, the library, the post office, the park, coffee shops, restaurants, etc. Both Baby M and I much prefer the stroller to the car and the hassle that comes with getting a baby in and out of a car seat.

Most people are perfectly nice when they see Baby M and I waiting on the corner to cross the street. They smile at his pudgy little feet propped up on the stroller bar and laugh as he waves his Tag Along Lion Chime. But more often than you would expect, drivers yell or honk their horn at us as we cross in the crosswalk with the light. Do these people not remember Driver's Ed? Pedestrians have the right of way. Is the extra 10 seconds they have to wait to make a right turn really enough time to bring on a blistering case of road rage? And besides that, do they realize that they are yelling and honking at a baby?!?

Today we saw particularly egregious case of driving gone bad. My husband, Baby M, our dog and I were walking back from getting a cup of coffee at Peet's coffee near Lincoln and Mindanao. We were waiting at the corner where the 90 freeway hits Mindanao. The light turned green, the little walking man started flashing and we began making our way across the intersection. When I was about half way across the intersection a car sped around the corner just inches from my toes. I turned around incredulously to look at my husband, and to, perhaps get some sympathy from the next driver. You know something along the lines of "Oh my gosh that asshole driver almost took out your whole family. I can't believe that guy!" Instead the woman yelled at me to hurry up and get out of the damn intersection. Nice. It is people like this who give Los Angeles a bad rap.

The rest of the way home my husband and I brainstormed about what to do about inconsiderate drivers. My husband rides the bus or bikes to work most days so he has his fair share of encounters with idiot drivers too. We thought about publicly shaming them on a web site called assholedriver.com. Ofcourse that url is already being used by a porn site, but I did come across this site allowing users to post pictures and comments about asshole drivers they encounter. It's in beta and seems to be focused on New York, but still looks promising. Maybe I'll start keeping my cell phone handy at intersections and post a few pictures of my own.

Mean Baby at the Library

Since it has been so hot lately Baby M and I have been spending some time at the local libraries. We haven't been to a story time yet, but every library has at least one scheduled during the week. Baby M is not quite ready to sit and listen to a story, but he loves crawling around and pulling books off the shelves. These days Baby M needs a lot of space to explore and our little 1940's era house just isn't cutting it.

So far my favorite library is the LAPL Playa Vista branch. The library has a large children's wing with plenty of board books and also wooden puzzles, large foam blocks and funny little velvet cars. We went on a Monday morning and there was only one other child in the room which meant Baby M could crawl around without any danger of being run over by an older kid. The Mar Vista branch is also nice. The children's room is much smaller, but it has lots of board books in large tin buckets and a built in bench that is the perfect height for Baby M to cruise on.

Today we went to the Main Branch of the Santa Monica library. I spent a lot of time in this library pre-Baby M because it has a much larger selection of titles than my local branch and it's really just a lovely space to be in. There is a garden patio, a cafe and lots of natural light. But today was the first time that I'd ventured into the children's area. There are no toys and the board books are not really baby accessible; they sit on a low shelf along a main walkway and I'm concerned that Baby M would get stepped on while he picked out his books. On the plus side, there is a huge open activity area where Baby M was able to crawl to his heart's content. Without any doorways, heating grates, tables or chairs to dodge he was really able to build up some speed. He was like Baby Flash, or whichever superhero has the power of super-speed. While Baby M happily wandered around a little boy, maybe 3 years old, came into the room and was very excited to point out the baby. He got down on his hands and knees to mimic Baby M's crawling. This got Baby M very excited and he made a bee-line for the little boy, hands and knees pounding, head wobbling, screeching like a banshee. The little boy stood up, said "Mean Baby" and stomped out of the room. Completely unconcerned my "Mean Baby" ambled off to try to pick up some shadows by the window.

Baby proofing

I've found that most parents fall into one of two camps when it comes to baby proofing. The first group identifies every possible danger, hires professionals to install gates, cabinet locks and hideous table bumpers. The second group fully intends to baby proof their home but suddenly finds their child mobile and ends up covering up outlets and hiding power cords moments before curious little hands seize them. Not surprisingly, I fall into the second camp.

Baby M is now 8 months old and he crawls, pulls up, cruises and even climbs. I am a little surprised at how quickly he progressed from tentative creeping to full speed ahead, multi-directional mobility. To give myself credit, I did make a few attempts at baby proofing before he started pulling up. We replaced our entertainment center, which consisted of precariously balanced baskets, glass shelves and a home-assembled Ikea TV stand with something a little more sturdy. I covered the outlets. I bought some furniture wall straps, but didn't install them because I couldn't figure out how to use the stud finder. I also bought some no-drill cabinet locks, but they are so difficult to open that we end up leaving them hanging unlocked on the cabinet handles. Baby M finds them irresistible and uses them to pull the cabinets open usually hitting himself on the head in the process. Luckily he hasn't shown any interest in actually taking anything out of the cupboards yet, just opening them. I guess I should only give myself half-credit for those last two.

But for the most part, I am finding out what I need to move / secure / gate off as we go along. At this point all of the little knick-knacks, candles, picture frames, etc. on my lower shelves have been moved and now sit on my kitchen counter until I can find a better place to put them. They have been replaced with random baby-friendly objects. Our shelves now feature a half-full plastic water bottle, an empty oatmeal container, a red ball and a variety of teething toys. Any dreams I ever had of being featured in Architectural Digest are over. Power strips have been quickly shoved behind file cabinets and only magazines I don't mind seeing shredded are on the coffee table. We've learned to keep the bathroom doors closed.

And there have been a few items that I didn't get to in time. During a recent cold snap our heater came on unexpectedly. Baby M crawled across the floor register, as he had done dozens of times, but this time is was hot and he ended up with a grid pattern seared into his hand. We're lucky he wasn't burned over more of his body. Its a horrible feeling to know that you didn't keep your child safe.

On a lighter note, I've also found it necessary to baby proof myself. Yesterday I was standing in the kitchen when I suddenly found myself without pants. Baby M had been trying to pull up on my legs but ended up pantsing me instead. Neither of us was very happy; Baby M did not accomplish his goal of standing up and I did not achieve my goal of wearing pants. I guess from now on I will wear a belt.

How to make a baby laugh

Baby M is often a bit serious these days which makes the laughs we do get all the more fun. Here are the top 5 things that make Baby M laugh:

1. Blowing raspberries on his belly
2. Being carried around on Daddy's shoulders
3. Watching the dog roll around to scratch her back
4. Mommy's silly top-of-the-head ponytail
5. The phrase "Peanut, peanut butter--- jelly" when sung with a big dramatic pause before the "jelly"

Baby bites dog

Baby M has been crawling for a couple of weeks now and he is getting faster and more confident by the day. Gone are the days when I could plop him down in the center of the rug with a toy and expect to find him there when I returned. In fact yesterday I lost him momentarily when I left him playing happily in his room and ran into the office to grab a pen. When I got back 30 seconds later he was gone. After a brief moment of panic I found him hiding behind the glider rocker. He thought hiding from Mommy was a riot and began laughing like a loon.

This new milestone means some changes for me, but I think our dog may be having the hardest time adjusting. Up until now all interaction between Baby M and our dog, a Lab-German Shepherd mix, has been closely monitored by me. Thankfully our dog is very mellow and has patiently allowed Baby M to "pet" her, which really means pull her tail, pinch her back, chew her feet and attempt to climb on top of her. I am always right there, scratching her ears and making sure Baby M doesn't get to rough. Now, however, Baby M decides when he wants some doggy-time, and it is pretty much all the time. He chases the dog all over the house hoping to get a handful of hair. Our poor puppy runs from room to room, hides behind furniture, until finally, Baby M's persistence wears her down and she whines to be let out. I know this has been a rough few months for our dog-- we used to go on long walks every day and now she is lucky to get walked once a week. We'll try to give her a little extra attention this week so she knows she is still loved.

Mom or Man?

A few months ago a friend of mine with 2 small sons said to me, "Do you ever wish you lived with your mom instead of your husband?" At the time I looked at her a bit quizzically. I mean, I love my mom and all, but there is only so much re-hashing of Dancing With the Stars that I can take and besides, I'm married to a pretty cool guy. But after spending a week at my parent's house while my husband was on a business trip I totally get it.

It was great. My mom came and got Baby M when he was crying inconsolably at 5AM. She cleaned up after he spit peas all over the dining room. She held him so I could try on more than one pair of jeans at the mall. Plus she did all the normal mom stuff like cooking dinner and doing my laundry. Not once did she "dress" the baby and then claim not to notice the unsnapped onesie crotch flaps flopping around on top of Baby M's pants. I don't think I truly appreciated my mom until I became a parent myself. And after a week of having her mother me and Baby M the lumpy scarf I knit for her as a Mother's Day gift seems woefully inadequate.

Now that I'm back home I find being alone with Baby M for 11 hours a day a bit overwhelming. My back is sore since no one is around to help with the heavy lifting (Baby M is nearly 20 lbs and has yet to outgrow his penchant for being held all day). On the plus side, I haven't had to hear about any ballroom dancers, smart 5th graders or wannabee pop stars. And I guess it is nice to have my husband back too, even though he is watching Lost while I scrub sweet potatoes off of the piano.

Not the brightest bulb on the block

That would me, not Baby M, although he did spend the better part of the afternoon playing with a slotted spoon. However, I think that is just because he's a baby, not due to any dimness on his part. I'm the one who seems to have a short circuit these days.

I admit that I have had my share of forgetfulness and inattention brought on my months of sleep deprivation, but up until now I felt that my reasoning skills remained generally in tact. Well, no more. Today I had a serious case of Mommy Brain (and not the good kind that helps with empathy and multi-tasking).

Baby M loves to splash around in the sink, but he is getting too big to hold over the sink comfortably so today I had the inspired idea to let him splash around with a bowl of water on the kitchen floor. I sat him down with a big Tupperware bowl containing a few inches of water. I expected the floor to get a bit wet from his splashing, but I did not foresee what would have been obvious to my former self-- Baby M immediately picked up the bowl and dumped the contents all over himself and the floor. I felt like a complete moron, but on the up side, the floor got mopped this week.

Hunger Strike

Okay, so it's not exactly a hunger strike since Baby M still nurses like a champ, but he is refusing all solid food and has been ever since I first tried to tempt him with some rice cereal three and half weeks ago. I find this turn of events particularly surprising for two reasons. First off for the past few months Baby M has put anything and everything in his mouth. I have uttered "telephones are not for eating", "our friends are not for eating" and "the dog is not for eating" more times than I can count. Secondly both my husband and I eat just about everything. Really. We eat red meat and carbs, seafood and hot dogs, ice cream and cotton candy. You will never have a problem accommodating us at a dinner party. Naturally we thought Baby M would follow in our gastronomical footsteps. But, alas, he seems to be forging his own path.

So far we've tried rice cereal, avocados, bananas and pears. Every feeding session starts out the same, with Baby M screaming as we strap him into his high chair (this reaction is common to any contraption with straps-- car seats, strollers, etc.) After a few choruses of The Hokey Pokey and some fun games with Mommy's ponytail Baby M is in a good enough mood to try some food. Every spoonful is preceded by an elaborate spoon ballet with Battlestar Galactica inspired sound effects and met with a grimace and spitting out of the offending substance. Lately Baby M has taken to stuffing his bib into his mouth in a preemptive strike against eating. I sense he may be a stubborn child.

Our pediatrician says not to worry and to just keep on trying to feed him a couple of times a day. In the meantime I guess I'll just work on my Hokey Pokey.

The Golden Age

At nearly 4 months Baby M has finally reached the so-called “Golden Age.” According to What to Expect the First Year this is the age when “good humor reigns during the day ... and independent mobility has yet to be achieved.” And I have to say, Baby M is in decidedly better spirits these days. It's such a relief after months of crying. Although I never told anyone, I was really worried that I had made a huge mistake in having a baby and just wasn't cut out to be a mom. Baby M cried so much that I knew I must be doing something wrong. There were days when I would have gladly gone back to dealing with 2AM server outages. Perhaps that's why most maternity leaves are only 2-3 months-- it's much easier to leave a baby who cries for 8 hours a day than one that smiles and giggles at everything you do.

So with Baby M's newly sunny disposition I decided we would check out Mommy Movies at the Grove. Every Monday at 11AM the Pacific Theater at the Grove has a showing that welcomes babies. It's great; you can nurse, nobody cares if your baby fusses, there is even a changing station set up inside the theater. This week's movie was 27 Dresses which is a perfectly average romantic comedy that I thoroughly enjoyed. Baby M also seemed to like it. He looked around at all the babies, had a snack, a nap and woke up just in time to see the guy get the girl and live happily ever after.

Namaste Baby

This week Baby M and I started Mommy & Me Yoga classes at a small studio in Westchester. There were a few poses we did while holding our babies, but the majority of the class assumed that your baby would lie quietly on a blanket in front of your mat as you did poses over him. This is really not Baby M's style-- he likes to be carried all the time and isn't one for staying quiet when he's not getting his way. I spent a lot of the class bouncing him and watching the other student (it was a VERY small class) make her way through Downward Dog, Triangle, etc. For awhile the receptionist and then the instructor held Baby M so that I could get a little exercise too. It didn't seem like much of a workout, but I guess it was enough because the next day my muscles were quite sore. There are 4 more classes left, hopefully Baby M will find his inner peace over the next month.