I'm Disgusting

Since becoming a parent I have done many things that I would have found repellent in my former life. I've smelled Baby M's bottom to see if he needed a diaper change and stuck my finger in his diaper if the smell test was inconclusive. I've picked buggers out of his nose. I've spent days in a spit-up covered sweatshirt with unwashed hair. I'm regularly soaked with drool, but today I reached a new low.

Baby M & I went to the Bridge theater at the Howard Hughes Center for the Mommy & Me screening of Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (good movie, but not as much fun as the Mommy & Me screenings at the Grove). About halfway through the movie I took out a Lara Bar to snack on. Since I was holding the Lara Bar it was by default Baby M's favorite new toy and a brief struggle ensued. Then he got distracted by my water bottle and I was able to unwrap and take 2 bites of the bar before he changed focus and whacked it out of my hand onto the floor. I'm not sure if you are familiar with Lara Bars, but they are made out of nuts and fruit and have a slightly sticky consistency. Even if I had picked it up within the constraints of the 5 second rule, which I definitely did not, it's probably not the sort of thing you want to eat off the floor of a movie theater. But, I was really hungry. Since I've been breastfeeding I am hungrier than I ever was when I was pregnant. I reasoned that it was the first screening of the day and the floor was probably cleaned the night before, and really how dirty could it be? So I picked up the Lara Bar and finished it. Unfortunately, while I was eating it I realized exactly how dirty the floor could be.