Parasomnia and Nightmares

I am reading yet another sleep book (Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell). I know I keep saying that I need to quit reading these parenting books, but I just can't stop myself. This particular book is written by an associate director of a sleep disorders center and now I am convinced that Baby M has parasomnia.

Baby M has not been sleeping for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time during the night so I've gotten into the habit of napping with him in the afternoon. He nearly always wakes up from his nap crying inconsolably, even when I am lying right there next to him. He doesn't seem to notice me when I pat his back, say his name or even pick him up. According to the book, this could be a case of Confusional Arousal, which is a mild form of parasomnia and apparently very common. The author's advice is to just leave him alone.

Initially I wondered if Baby M could be having nightmares. I can still recall my childhood nightmares and remember crying out for my parents in a panic. My parents generally found my nightmares hilarious, although to their credit, they saved their laughter for the following morning and did their best to offer comfort and a sympathetic ear in the middle of the night. However, I will always remember the night my mother couldn't stop giggling when I described the "sponge-nose bandit" nightmare. I dreamed that my brother had a kitchen sponge on his face where his nose should have been. An evil sponge salesman cut off my brother's sponge-nose so that he could sell it which resulted in my brother's death. Looking back I can see how a 4 year old tearfully explaining how her brother's nose was a highly sought after sponge is funny, but at the time my mother's laughter was the exactly the opposite of what I needed. I don't have too many items on my "Things my parents did that I'll never do" list because they were pretty good parents, but laughing at my child's nightmares is one of them.

Shhh... He's Not Sleeping

So just about every new parent has a story that starts, "I was so sleep deprived I...[fill in the blank] ." Maybe Mom put the diaper on over the onesie or Dad drove to work in a pressed shirt and pajama bottoms. This week I made spaghetti for dinner and instead of opening up a jar of spaghetti sauce I cooked up a nice batch of spaghetti and meatballs with Garlic Lover's Salsa. What's even more telling is that my husband and I diligently ate this concoction without noticing anything was amiss until I threw the jar into the recycling bin after dinner.

Baby M is nearly 6 months old now and not anywhere close to sleeping through the night. He is still up 2 or 3 times a night. We have had the occasional night with only one waking-- to be precise we've had exactly 3 of them. I recall those nights fondly and wish for their quick return. As Oz pointed out her blog Knocked Up, people always want to know if your baby is sleeping through the night yet and judge your baby (or you) based on the answer. The older Baby M gets, the more inadequate I feel when I have to admit that, no, he is not sleeping through the night. And aside from feeling inadequate I am also feeling dead tired. So I am going to stop telling people exactly how often Baby M wakes up and stop explaining all of the strategies we've tried to get him to sleep longer. I am going to follow Oz's lead, answer that he sleeps like a baby and leave it at that.