Sesame Street Coupons

Baby M loves Sesame Street. If we are at home a request to watch Sesame Street will come up, oh every 5 minutes or so. Sometimes it's cheerful, "I watch Sesame Street now? [big grin]" Sometimes it's polite, "Sesame Street...please." But inevitably it becomes whiny and devolves into a full on, head banging, legs flailing, Sesame Street deprivation tantrum. And if we attempt to leave the house, even to go to the park, he immediately begins screaming "Take me back home". What does he want to do at home? Watch Sesame Street. It's not like he doesn't get a good daily dose of Elmo. He gets to watch 30 minutes of Sesame Street after breakfast and 30 minutes again when he wakes up from his nap. Which is plenty, especially considering that the daily recommended amount of television for a not quite 2 year old is zero minutes.

As a solution to the constant tantrums my husband suggested that I make coupons for Baby M to redeem for TV time. When the coupons are gone, the TV stays off. It sounded good. I made up some coupons by cutting out pictures of Big Bird and Elmo and pasting them on index cards. Baby M was very excited about his coupons and by Noon he had cashed them both in. That afternoon, after his nap, he wanted to watch Sesame Street. I explained to him that he had no more coupons left. He grabbed my hand, walked me over to the shelf I had placed his redeemed coupons on says "They're right there, Mommy." Then he proceeded to have a tantrum to get the coupons followed by a tantrum because his eyes were wet from the first tantrum. I think perhaps the terrible twos have arrived a month early.

None of the Above

Baby M is nearly 20 months old and has definite ideas about nearly everything-- how and when to eat, what book to read, which form of transportation to use, what to wear, etc. Every book I've read about toddlers suggests that the key to a happy child is offering him a choice. "Do you want to wear the red bib or the blue bib?" "Shall we take the stroller or walk?" The idea is that by allowing him a choice you give the toddler some control over the situation. He feels empowered and doesn't throw a tantrum. This all sounds good in theory and I've actually seen other moms employ the technique successfully on the playground. Tantrums have been avoided simply by saying, "Oh look, you can play with the green shovel or the fire truck, which do you want?"

Baby M, however, is too smart to fall for this ploy. When I ask him if he would like peas or broccoli he twists around in the high chair and points to the refrigerator shouting "Toast! Toast!" If I say "Let's pick a bib to wear," he wails "Noooo!" He has already learned that just because something isn't displayed doesn't mean it's not available.

It's nice to know that he is going to be an independent thinker and not feel compelled to accept what he is offered. On the other hand, I am really worried about how terrible those terrible twos are going to be. So far Baby M's tantrums have been manageable. We have a few outbursts each day, but the number of kicking and screaming, out-of-control eruptions has been minimal and I'm hoping to keep it that way. Since the whole "choice" strategy isn't working, I'd love to hear other suggestions for avoiding toddler tantrums.

Caveman Baby

So Baby M is now almost 16 months old and still hasn't said a word. No "mama" or "dada", not "ball" , not even that old todler standby "no". Oh sure he makes sounds that are technically words but they are never applied consistently to the appropriate people or objects. I hear a lot of "yeah yeah yeah"'s and some "dada"'s, "yoyo"s, etc. There was a day I thought he had mastered "socks" but then it disappeared never to return.

It's quite clear that Baby M understands much of what we say. He will shake his head for yes or no, can follow simple commands like "bring me the ball" and even somewhat demeaning commands like "shake your booty." The other day while washing dishes in attempt to free my right leg from his vice-like grip I asked him to bring me a book about trucks. He promptly released my leg walked into his bedroom and returned a few moments later with the book Big Trucks. So he definitely understands language he just doesn't seem to be too interested in producing language. I guess he figures his combination of grunting, pointing, whining and tantrum throwing is working for him, so why change it? However, this mode of communication is not working for me, in fact every day it grates on my nerves just a little bit more. Especially now that he has started pointing in two directions at once and then bursting into tears when I stare back at him in confusion.

So I am redoubling my efforts to get Baby M to speak. Now, instead of handing over whatever Baby M points at, I try to get him to say something, anything, before giving him what he wants. It usually goes something like

Baby M: uunh! (points at rice on my plate)
Me: Oh you want rice? Say rice.
Baby M: mag-dah
Me: (feeds him rice)

Not terribly promising, but we'll keep trying. I also read that getting your baby to mimic silly sounds is a good way to start him on the road to language acquisition. So we started playing a game where Baby M hits my head and I say "Dong!" in a funny voice. Pretty soon he was joining in with the "Dong!" having a grand time and I felt very encouraged. But after a day he stopped making the noise and now he just hits me on the head. So I am living with a midget who grunts, throws food everywhere and whacks me on the head for fun. Whoever said toddlers are like little cavemen may have have been on to something.