UCLA Baby Lab

Right after I brought Baby M home from the hospital I read What's Going On In There by Lise Eliot. The book, written by a neuroscientist, describes how an infant's brain is formed and how each sense develops. In addition to providing details on the physical structures of the brain and the role genetics and environment play in development, the author also explained many of the experiments used to gather the information. I really enjoyed the book and although it was a bit heavy on the science, it was a nice break from the practical infant care guides I had been reading at the time. In particular I found many of the experiments fascinating. Did you know that whether or not a 4 year old can delay eating a marshmallow is one of the biggest predictors of success later in life? I've already got "Run marshmallow experiment on Baby M" penciled in for 2011.

Since I'm already planning on doing my own experiments on Baby M, it's no surprise that when I received a card in the mail from the UCLA Baby Lab looking for test subjects I said "Sign us up!" Don't worry, there are no experimental drugs involved or weird psychological tests. We went in for our first study this week which has to do with whether or not infants will pay attention to illusory figures. Baby M just had to watch a TV screen for about 15 minutes and an eye tracking device monitored where he looked. Sometimes he looked at the illusory figure and sometimes he did not, which the researcher said was pretty typical. Baby M also had some time to warm up to the researchers and play with some of the toys in the lab. All of the researchers were very nice and happy to share information about their research. I would definitely go back if another study opens up.

There was no compensation for participating, although we did get free parking at UCLA and a cute T-shirt for Baby M. My husband wonders why anyone would participate, but he has never stayed home all day with Baby M. As most stay at home moms will tell you, anything that gets you out of the house for a few hours is worthwhile. Especially if it is free (most structured activities and even some playgroups cost $20 a visit), allows Baby M to see something new and allows Mom to have a bit of grown-up conversation.

Baby Talk

A few weeks ago my mother-in-law sent me a clip from Good Morning America regarding the importance of talking to your baby. Studies show that a child's success in school is related to how much parents talk to that child, which is not particularly surprising. What is surprising is that experts recommend you say 17,000 words to your child every day. That's a lot of words! Even before I had a baby I rarely spoke 17,000 words a day. The clip also highlighted a product invented by a presumably OCD mom that clips on to your baby and counts the number of words he hears each day, kind of like a pedometer for words. If my SAT prep serves me correctly, I believe that would be verbometer or a logometer, but this mom called her device LENA (Language Environment Analysis).

After watching this story I became semi-obsessed with the 17,000 words. Not obsessed enough to invent a verbometer, but obsessed enough to worry every time I sat surreptitiously reading the newspaper while Baby M banged his toy bus on the floor. I wondered if I should be reading the paper out loud. But wouldn't that break his concentration? I tried increasing the number of children's books I read to Baby M but, newly mobile, he was not very interested in sitting around listening to me read. Every book I pulled out he either grabbed and chewed or grabbed and started ripping apart. I mentioned the 17,000 words to a friend of mine and she, being much more practical than me, immediately calculated that given the number of hours her son is awake, she would have to say about 28 words every minute to meet the goal. She then counted the number of words in her son's favorite book (she is also perhaps a little more obsessive than me) and determined that she reads 1400 words in about 10 minutes. Given 40 minutes of reading time plus some good narration of her daily activities, maybe she could pull it off.

The only book I read daily to Baby M is Goodnight Moon, which has 300 words. He is also a fan of Hello Bee, Hello Me with a paltry 25 words. I do try to narrate my day, but I've realized I don't do a whole lot. Most of my day is spent watching Baby M do stuff, which I suppose I could narrate-- "Here you are chewing my flip flop", "On look you're banging a spoon on the floor." Sometimes he'll watch me unload the dishwasher and I can actually get quite a few words out of that. The other thing I've noticed is that I frequently just mimic what Baby M says. I think I read mimicry is good for his self-esteem, but maybe he will end up thinking "blah-bli- phtttt- blap" is a word. Maybe he already does. So I'm becoming more conscious of the words I say to Baby M. I find myself often saying "I see you Baby," since Baby M likes to crawl off to another room and then turn around to make sure I am still watching. If I stopped there, that would be fine; "see" and "baby" are perfectly good words, but no, I don't stop there. You see, I cannot say "I see you Baby" without following it with "shaking that ass." Ten to one Baby M's first word is "ass".

Baby proofing

I've found that most parents fall into one of two camps when it comes to baby proofing. The first group identifies every possible danger, hires professionals to install gates, cabinet locks and hideous table bumpers. The second group fully intends to baby proof their home but suddenly finds their child mobile and ends up covering up outlets and hiding power cords moments before curious little hands seize them. Not surprisingly, I fall into the second camp.

Baby M is now 8 months old and he crawls, pulls up, cruises and even climbs. I am a little surprised at how quickly he progressed from tentative creeping to full speed ahead, multi-directional mobility. To give myself credit, I did make a few attempts at baby proofing before he started pulling up. We replaced our entertainment center, which consisted of precariously balanced baskets, glass shelves and a home-assembled Ikea TV stand with something a little more sturdy. I covered the outlets. I bought some furniture wall straps, but didn't install them because I couldn't figure out how to use the stud finder. I also bought some no-drill cabinet locks, but they are so difficult to open that we end up leaving them hanging unlocked on the cabinet handles. Baby M finds them irresistible and uses them to pull the cabinets open usually hitting himself on the head in the process. Luckily he hasn't shown any interest in actually taking anything out of the cupboards yet, just opening them. I guess I should only give myself half-credit for those last two.

But for the most part, I am finding out what I need to move / secure / gate off as we go along. At this point all of the little knick-knacks, candles, picture frames, etc. on my lower shelves have been moved and now sit on my kitchen counter until I can find a better place to put them. They have been replaced with random baby-friendly objects. Our shelves now feature a half-full plastic water bottle, an empty oatmeal container, a red ball and a variety of teething toys. Any dreams I ever had of being featured in Architectural Digest are over. Power strips have been quickly shoved behind file cabinets and only magazines I don't mind seeing shredded are on the coffee table. We've learned to keep the bathroom doors closed.

And there have been a few items that I didn't get to in time. During a recent cold snap our heater came on unexpectedly. Baby M crawled across the floor register, as he had done dozens of times, but this time is was hot and he ended up with a grid pattern seared into his hand. We're lucky he wasn't burned over more of his body. Its a horrible feeling to know that you didn't keep your child safe.

On a lighter note, I've also found it necessary to baby proof myself. Yesterday I was standing in the kitchen when I suddenly found myself without pants. Baby M had been trying to pull up on my legs but ended up pantsing me instead. Neither of us was very happy; Baby M did not accomplish his goal of standing up and I did not achieve my goal of wearing pants. I guess from now on I will wear a belt.

How to make a baby laugh

Baby M is often a bit serious these days which makes the laughs we do get all the more fun. Here are the top 5 things that make Baby M laugh:

1. Blowing raspberries on his belly
2. Being carried around on Daddy's shoulders
3. Watching the dog roll around to scratch her back
4. Mommy's silly top-of-the-head ponytail
5. The phrase "Peanut, peanut butter--- jelly" when sung with a big dramatic pause before the "jelly"

Baby bites dog

Baby M has been crawling for a couple of weeks now and he is getting faster and more confident by the day. Gone are the days when I could plop him down in the center of the rug with a toy and expect to find him there when I returned. In fact yesterday I lost him momentarily when I left him playing happily in his room and ran into the office to grab a pen. When I got back 30 seconds later he was gone. After a brief moment of panic I found him hiding behind the glider rocker. He thought hiding from Mommy was a riot and began laughing like a loon.

This new milestone means some changes for me, but I think our dog may be having the hardest time adjusting. Up until now all interaction between Baby M and our dog, a Lab-German Shepherd mix, has been closely monitored by me. Thankfully our dog is very mellow and has patiently allowed Baby M to "pet" her, which really means pull her tail, pinch her back, chew her feet and attempt to climb on top of her. I am always right there, scratching her ears and making sure Baby M doesn't get to rough. Now, however, Baby M decides when he wants some doggy-time, and it is pretty much all the time. He chases the dog all over the house hoping to get a handful of hair. Our poor puppy runs from room to room, hides behind furniture, until finally, Baby M's persistence wears her down and she whines to be let out. I know this has been a rough few months for our dog-- we used to go on long walks every day and now she is lucky to get walked once a week. We'll try to give her a little extra attention this week so she knows she is still loved.

Mother's Day

So Sunday was my first official Mother's Day. Last year I was about 5 months pregnant on Mother's Day and just starting to show, so I did end up getting a few "Happy Mother's Day" wishes, but I really don't think they are merited until you can actually hold your child in your arms. Back then Baby M was not even known as Baby M yet. At the time I was still trying to convince my husband that North was the perfect name for our firstborn son. Does everyone go through that "unique" name phase? Thankfully I came to my senses and didn't end up as an entry on Baby's Named A Bad Bad Thing.

Last year I made brunch reservations for us and both sets of grandparents at Shanghai Red's in Marina Del Rey. It is normally a very nice restaurant, but the Mother's Day Brunch was a complete mad-house. I waited in line 20 minutes for a waffle, got elbowed over the last piece of salmon and was vomited on in the restroom. I was expecting this year to be substantially better, but I got a little worried on Saturday night when my husband said to me, "I think I'm in trouble. I forgot that you're a mom." I was shocked. Most days I feel like all I am is a mom, what with all the feeding and diapering and bathing, etc. It is actually sort of comforting to know that my husband sees me as more than just Baby M's mother. On the other hand, it would be nice to know that he recognizes how much work it takes to care for Baby M.

Well, my husband and Baby M stepped up and surprised me on Sunday morning with breakfast in bed. They had loaded up a tray with orange juice, flowers, 3 greasy breakfast sandwiches and hash-browns from Jack-in-the-Box. (Three because they didn't know which one I liked, not because I'm a glutton.) Fast food breakfast sandwiches are one of my guilty pleasures, along with Gossip Girl and old George Michael ballads, so I couldn't have been happier. My husband even signed the card "Baby M" proving that my blog has at least 1 reader. All in all it was a lovely Mother's Day.

Mom or Man?

A few months ago a friend of mine with 2 small sons said to me, "Do you ever wish you lived with your mom instead of your husband?" At the time I looked at her a bit quizzically. I mean, I love my mom and all, but there is only so much re-hashing of Dancing With the Stars that I can take and besides, I'm married to a pretty cool guy. But after spending a week at my parent's house while my husband was on a business trip I totally get it.

It was great. My mom came and got Baby M when he was crying inconsolably at 5AM. She cleaned up after he spit peas all over the dining room. She held him so I could try on more than one pair of jeans at the mall. Plus she did all the normal mom stuff like cooking dinner and doing my laundry. Not once did she "dress" the baby and then claim not to notice the unsnapped onesie crotch flaps flopping around on top of Baby M's pants. I don't think I truly appreciated my mom until I became a parent myself. And after a week of having her mother me and Baby M the lumpy scarf I knit for her as a Mother's Day gift seems woefully inadequate.

Now that I'm back home I find being alone with Baby M for 11 hours a day a bit overwhelming. My back is sore since no one is around to help with the heavy lifting (Baby M is nearly 20 lbs and has yet to outgrow his penchant for being held all day). On the plus side, I haven't had to hear about any ballroom dancers, smart 5th graders or wannabee pop stars. And I guess it is nice to have my husband back too, even though he is watching Lost while I scrub sweet potatoes off of the piano.