Since childhood I've always had a hard time making friends. I'm quiet and shy and usually feel like I have nothing interesting to say (which seems to be the case, given the number of regular readers this blog has). I grew up in a military town and every year I would have one best friend and every year her family would move away by the end of the summer. You always hear about the problems military kids have making friends, but you never hear about those of us who were left behind and had to start over each year without the benefit of being the intriguing new kid. To help me deal with this problem my mother bought me a book that I still have to this day called The Magic Friend Maker about a girl who uses a special rock to make a friend after her friend moves away.
Anyway, all the months I was pregnant I was convinced that the baby would be my “magic friend maker.” He would help me find other women that I had something in common with and provide endless fodder for conversation. And I was right! There are tons of organizations out there to help new moms meet each other-- MOMS Club, Mommy & Me Classes, support groups at the Pump Station, etc, etc. In fact Baby M and I just had our first play date this week. It is so much easier to meet other women now that I'm a “mom”. When I was just “married lady whose friends all moved away because they couldn't afford to buy a home in Los Angeles” it seemed impossible to meet anyone. Now I feel like there is this whole new community that I am automatically accepted into. People often talk about how isolating motherhood is, but I felt much lonlier before baby M came along.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Colic
Like many mothers, I assumed that my baby would cry for specific reasons-- hungry, wet diaper, too hot/cold, etc. I believed those parenting books that said I would soon be able to identify my child's different cries, what each of them mean, and then take the appropriate action resulting in a generally happy baby. So I'm quite distressed to find baby M crying for hours each day for no discernable reason. I can catalog his various cries, but have no idea what they mean. Most of my day consists of trying to make the screaming stop. Yesterday Baby M cried for about 10 hours straight and I started to wonder how much I would resist if someone tried to kidnap him. Maybe he could read my thoughts because today he has been much better. Aside from evil thoughts, here are my top 10 tools for calming the baby:
1. Vacuum Cleaner – The only tool that works 100% of the time (hopefully I didn't jinx it with that statement). I just turn on our Dyson Animal and baby M quiets down within seconds and gets this serene look on his face. It's the most amazing thing. Of course, then I'm stuck listening to the vacuum.
2. Toxic by Britney Spears – Baby M seems to love Miss Spears, or at least this track. We have our own little dance party a couple of times a day. Interestingly, I tried some other dance music hoping for a little variety, but the baby didn't take to it.
3. Stroller – A walk around the block in the Zooper will sometimes quiet Baby M. The more cracks in the sidewalk the better. He likes a bumpy ride.
4. Kangaroo Korner Pouch – If I can get baby M relaxed enough to get him in the pouch (once he starts screaming he is either flailing around or his body is so stiff it's impossible to manuever him into the pouch) wearing him will often keep him quiet.
5. Vornado Fan – This is my husbands favorite trick. We blast him with the fan. I guess Baby M loves the wind in his hair. He also probably enjoys the whir of the fan, kind of like a quiet vacuum.
6. Bouncy Chair – We have the Fisher Price Itsty Bitsy Bouncer and the vibration feature is a life saver. Combine the bouncy chair with the vacuum and I get to eat dinner.
7. Swaddle Me Blanket (and the other 5's) - The book The Happiest Baby on the Block describes the 5 S's to calm a crying baby (swaddling, shushing, side/stomach, swinging, sucking). Combining all of the S's (except for sucking, pacifiers just make Baby M angrier) does get results, but it can get pretty tiring and too much shushing leads to hyperventilation. The Swaddle Me blanket makes getting and maintaining a good swaddle easier, especially for a wriggly baby. Since baby M sleeps swaddled at night I try not to swaddle him too much during the day.
8. Car Ride – This really a last resort, since I don't like the idea of wasting gas and creating excess pollution. Plus, it only works if you can keep the car moving at all times which means avoiding traffic. Good luck finding a time with no traffic in LA.
9. Polka Dots – So this one is only good if I catch him just as he is starting to think about crying. He loves looking at the dots on the groovy polka-dot blanket from Babylicious.
10.Mylicon Gas Drops – Our pediatrician suggested these drops when I told her how much Baby M cries. I've just been using them for 2 days, but I do think they are helping.
1. Vacuum Cleaner – The only tool that works 100% of the time (hopefully I didn't jinx it with that statement). I just turn on our Dyson Animal and baby M quiets down within seconds and gets this serene look on his face. It's the most amazing thing. Of course, then I'm stuck listening to the vacuum.
2. Toxic by Britney Spears – Baby M seems to love Miss Spears, or at least this track. We have our own little dance party a couple of times a day. Interestingly, I tried some other dance music hoping for a little variety, but the baby didn't take to it.
3. Stroller – A walk around the block in the Zooper will sometimes quiet Baby M. The more cracks in the sidewalk the better. He likes a bumpy ride.
4. Kangaroo Korner Pouch – If I can get baby M relaxed enough to get him in the pouch (once he starts screaming he is either flailing around or his body is so stiff it's impossible to manuever him into the pouch) wearing him will often keep him quiet.
5. Vornado Fan – This is my husbands favorite trick. We blast him with the fan. I guess Baby M loves the wind in his hair. He also probably enjoys the whir of the fan, kind of like a quiet vacuum.
6. Bouncy Chair – We have the Fisher Price Itsty Bitsy Bouncer and the vibration feature is a life saver. Combine the bouncy chair with the vacuum and I get to eat dinner.
7. Swaddle Me Blanket (and the other 5's) - The book The Happiest Baby on the Block describes the 5 S's to calm a crying baby (swaddling, shushing, side/stomach, swinging, sucking). Combining all of the S's (except for sucking, pacifiers just make Baby M angrier) does get results, but it can get pretty tiring and too much shushing leads to hyperventilation. The Swaddle Me blanket makes getting and maintaining a good swaddle easier, especially for a wriggly baby. Since baby M sleeps swaddled at night I try not to swaddle him too much during the day.
8. Car Ride – This really a last resort, since I don't like the idea of wasting gas and creating excess pollution. Plus, it only works if you can keep the car moving at all times which means avoiding traffic. Good luck finding a time with no traffic in LA.
9. Polka Dots – So this one is only good if I catch him just as he is starting to think about crying. He loves looking at the dots on the groovy polka-dot blanket from Babylicious.
10.Mylicon Gas Drops – Our pediatrician suggested these drops when I told her how much Baby M cries. I've just been using them for 2 days, but I do think they are helping.
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