Welcome Baby S!

I based my birth plans for Baby S on my experience with Baby M.  Yes, I'd heard that second babies come faster, that every pregnancy is different, blah, blah, blah.  My pregnancy with S had been very similar to my previous pregnancies and I had no reason to doubt that labor would follow the same general path, just maybe a little faster.  Well, it was a lot faster and quite different.  With Baby M my contractions started mildly, ramped up over the next 8 hours and then I spent another 8 hours in the hospital before he was born.  So 16 hours total.  With Baby S it was less than 5 hours from start to finish.

My water broke late Sunday night.  This caught me off guard, partially because the first time around my water didn't break until I was already well into labor, but mainly because it was 3 days before my due date. I know 3 days is not terribly early, but Baby M had been a week overdue and I figured Baby S would be late too.  At my last OB appointment I was only 1 cm dilated and I thought I had at least another week to wait.  Consequently, I had planned a full day of tasks for Monday -- laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep and packing my hospital bag.

So now we were suddenly in the Hollywood  movie birth scenario.  I was throwing clothes in my hospital bag, calling relatives to come over at one in the morning and trying to convince my husband that yes, we actually did need to go to the hospital.  Right now.

I had been toying with the idea of having an unmedicated birth.  With Baby M I had the epidural and overall it was a positive experience,  but I'd also wondered what natural birth was like.  Was it really as empowering or,  heaven-forbid, orgasmic as all those books said it would be?  (I'd read Naomi Wolf's Misconceptions, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and watched The Business of Being Born, my head was full of natural birthing propaganda).  On the way to the hospital, however, I realized that you don't really play around with natural birth.  You either need to be committed or not.  And I had never really fully committed.  I still felt flustered over the whole bag situation, my contractions were getting stronger and I forgot all about my visualization techniques.  This is silly, I thought.  I will just get the epidural.

When we got to the hospital it was 2am and I was 5cm.  The nurse checked me in, I got changed and situated in my room and I asked for the epidural.  At this point the contractions were getting quite strong and were right on top of each other.  Most of my focus was just on getting through them.  The nurse checked me again and I was 9cm.  Do you still want the epidural, she asked. Um, yes.  But by the time the anesthesiologist was ready my OB was there saying it was time to push.  So I ended up with an unmedicated birth after all.  I have to say, it was definitely not orgasmic and by the end I did not feel strong and empowered.  I just felt tired.  And that was after only 2 hours of hard labor, I can't imagine what it must be like for the women whose labors last for hours on end.  On the upside, my recovery has been so much easier and I do think that is in part because I did not have the epidural.  And, as my husband likes to point out, I now have bragging rights.

So Baby S came out at a healthy 8 pounds 2 ounces with all 9 on his Apgars.  We struggled a bit with jaundice and the poor little guy had daily heel pricks for a while, but now he is nice and pink.  He sleeps a lot and cries very little (the exact opposite of Baby M at this age).  Baby M is adjusting well and has been very helpful.  We'll see how we fare once my mother goes home and friends stop bringing us dinner, but for now we are all feeling good.

Siblings Without Rivalry

So I decided I'd better get in one book on siblings before baby #2 comes along and Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish came highly recommended despite being written 23 years ago.  I liked the book and thought it was helpful, but it definitely read like something written decades ago, and not just because of the dated cover design and references to the library card catalog.  In case you missed it, I read a lot of parenting books, and I generally try to read current books-- NutureShock, SuperBaby, The Parents We Mean to Be, Unconditional Parenting, etc.  These books were all written in the last few years and tend to be footnoted extensively with references to scientific journals, experiments and additional resources.  And this scientific rigor has never bothered me; I like the fact that the advice being doled out has been tested and that there is more than just some "expert's"opinion or personal experience backing it up.

Siblings Without Rivalry is structured completely differently from most of the books I read.  It's based on a 6 week workshop on sibling rivalry and includes the conversations, stories and handouts from these workshops.  We hear about the participants' struggles with their children, their own sibling relationships and even tearful confessions of what they wished their parents had done differently. At times it is very much like sitting in on someone else's group therapy session from 1987 when latch-key kids were the norm, gender stereotypes were readily accepted and promoting self-esteem was paramount.

I know this does not sound promising, but I actually found the structure quite refreshing.  Instead of reading about carefully controlled experiments I was reading about real conflicts between real siblings.  We don't just read about what the research says you should do, we actually get to see how imperfect, tired, angry parents apply the techniques and hear about how they work or how they don't.  And, perhaps most encouraging, we get to see parents head down a wrong path, change their approach mid-conflict and still end up with a mostly positive result.  In so many of the books I read the author provides so much evidence for a particular approach that I start to feel doing anything differently will doom my child to a life of sleeplessness or low IQ or anxiety, etc. etc.

Sure, some of the illustrations in the book are a little hokey and the first chapter, which asks us to explore our child's feelings about a new sibling by having us imagine our husband bringing home a new wife, was more amusing than anything else, but I do feel that I gained valuable information on how to help Baby M deal with a younger sibling.  (And I did have to laugh when the authors asked me to write down my reaction to my husband giving the new wife one of my old sweaters and saying "you've put on a little weight, your clothes are too tight on you and they'll fit her perfectly.")   Some key points from the book:

1. Acknowledge each child's feelings about their sibling, even if they are negative
2. Do not compare the children to each other
3. Do not put children in "roles", even if both roles seem positive (e.g. the smart one and the funny one)
4. Instead of focussing on giving kids equal parts, try to give each child what they need when they need it
5. Intervene in fights when necessary, but try to put the onus for solving the problem on the kids.

These suggestions may sound obvious, but I can see how easy it would be to forget about them in the heat of the moment.  If my boys were fighting about the number of pancakes on their plates I can absolutely see myself snapping "You both have four pancakes" instead of asking if they were still hungry.  It's straight-forward examples like this one that make the tips in this book easy to remember and hopefully easy to implement.

The Making of a Picky Eater

We really hoped Baby M would not be a picky eater.  We did all the things the books say you should do-- we introduced veggies before fruit, my husband and I continued to eat a variety of foods and rarely prepared special meals for Baby M, we had Baby M help us cook, we grew and ate vegetables out of our garden.  But try as we might, Baby M seems to be getting pickier by the day.

One day he refused to eat pasta with sauce on it.  On another he stopped eating his apple skins.  Over the past few months he has declared that he no longer likes oatmeal, hummus, bananas, blueberries, melons, beans, carrots or celery.  I continue to serve these foods and he refuses to touch anything on his plate until I remove them.  This, coupled with the fact that our family has adopted a mostly vegetarian diet over the past year, means that some nights all he eats is rice.  The only vegetable he eats consistently is broccoli, unless, of course, you count ketchup.

So when a friend gave me a copy of Jessica Seinfeld's Deceptively Delicious, I grudgingly started flipping through it.  I have to admit, back when Baby M was still on a milk diet I wrote a somewhat snarky post about this book.  I assumed getting your child to eat a variety of food was just a matter of offering it repeatedly in an upbeat matter.  Little did I know I would soon be stealthily pureeing beets and butternut squash in an effort to get some veggies into my stubborn stubborn child.

We've tried a fair number of the recipes from the book and they've been hit or miss.  Given the fact that we don't eat meat and Baby M refuses to eat pasta with sauce (including red sauce, cheese sauce, cream sauce and any other type of "sauce" you can think of) the number of recipes that work for us is somewhat limited.  He loved the "Pink Pancakes" (with beets) and will happily eat muffins with any puree I happen to throw in.  He flat out refused the scrambled eggs with cauliflower puree and honestly, I can't blame him.  They tasted like I scrambled a carton of 6 month old eggs.  He also did not go for the butternut squash-grilled cheese, although my husband and I actually prefer it to the standard version, so I think we're going to give that one a few more tries.

The thing is, using a half of cup of veggies in a dozen muffins means a 3 year old would have to eat 24 muffins to get his daily serving of vegetables.  Baby M would probably eat muffins all day long if I let him, but I really don't think that's a good idea either.  Sure some vegetables hidden in a muffin are still better than nothing, but I really wish I didn't have to be so darn sneaky.

The 5 Stages of Potty Training Regression

So, in my last post I noted that Baby M was no longer having daytime accidents.  We've had a bit of a regression since then.  He is now pooping his pants once or twice a day.  He still happily pees in the potty and generally wakes up dry, but he has no interest in getting his poops into the potty.  He will run behind the table where I can't reach him and insist he's not pooping while I try to convince him to come with me to the bathroom.  He poops his pants at the park, at school, at home, whenever he gets the urge. Oddly, he abhors wet underpants but doesn't seem to mind having poop in his pants at all and will go on about his business until I drag him kicking and screaming into the bathroom.

This has been going on for a little over a week and I have passed through all 5 stages of potty training regression.

Denial - Initially I convinced myself it was just a one off accident or a bad day or a few bad days...

Anger - I am not proud to admit that I yelled.  I waved poopy underpants in his face.  I told him he couldn't wear his favorite pirate underpants because they were covered in f@#*-ing poop.  Then I felt like the worst mother in the world, cried and apologized.  It was not my finest moment.  In fact, it was probably my worst parenting moment ever.

Bargaining - I brought the sticker charts back out, I promised trips to Travel Town, as the days wore on I threatened to take away his 30 minutes of TV time (which I did but it was harder on me than him and didn't make a difference anyway).

Depression - I looked back at my schizophrenic behavior over the past week, at the way I did all the things I said I wouldn't do, the things every book and web site tells you not to do, and wondered why the heck I was having another child when I couldn't even manage a week of poopy underpants without a major freak out.  I also ate a lot of ice cream.

Acceptance - I bought a tub of Oxiclean and a bucket for soaking poopy clothes. I keep my diaper bag stocked with plastic bags.  I realize there is no way I can force Baby M to poop in the potty. If I can't fight it, I might as well prepare for it.  I now simply praise him for using the toilet, remind him that poop goes in the potty and try to keep everything clean with as little drama as possible.  At some point he will decide pooping in his pants is not worth the trouble of getting cleaned up.

I don't know what, if anything, brought on the regression.  Maybe the novelty of the potty wore off.  Maybe Baby M saw how upset all the poop was making me and liked getting a response.  Maybe it's a delayed reaction to starting preschool or an advanced reaction to the impending birth of his brother.  Hopefully my new Zen attitude will encourage him to go back to the potty.  If not, you should seriously consider investing in Oxiclean, because at 2 poops a day, we're going through a lot of that stuff.

3 Day Potty Training - Kinda

So I've been meaning to write a post about potty training Baby M.  About 3 weeks ago I finally took plunge and committed to getting him potty trained.  A friend of a friend had success with Lora Jensen's 3-day Potty Training Method so we decided to give it a try.  I should note that the friend tried the method a week later without much success, but by that point I had already bought the e-book, blocked out the 3 days on our calendar and stocked up on underpants so we decided to go for it.  It's probably also worth mentioning that we had tried a more "child-directed" version of potty training a few months prior.  We made the potty available, bought cool underwear and encouraged Baby M to wear them for a few hours on the weekends.  That process ended up with Baby M ripping off his underpants, attempting to diaper himself and more or less stating that the potty was not for him.  After taking a few months off, I decided it was time to try something a little more "parent-directed."

The general idea  of the 3-day method is that you put your child in underpants 24 hours a day, ask him to tell you when he needs to use the potty and rush him to the toilet the minute he starts to go in his pants.  This pretty much requires you to be next to your child around the clock.  If he has an accident you don't reprimand or make a big deal about it, but you do reward any bit of success with praise, stickers and/or prizes.  (I know this completely contradicts my whole Unconditional Parenting philosophy which eschews rewards as well as punishments, but I decided 3 days of praise and rewards wouldn't scar Baby M for life.  Plus, I really wanted him out of diapers before Baby #2 came along.)

I knew staying home for 3 days straight was going to be difficult for us-- Baby M and I go out at least once and usually twice a day.  We have classes, play dates, parks to visit, shopping etc.  So I prepared.  I stocked up on food, planned art and cooking projects, and recorded new TV shows for him to watch.  I thought I had at least 2 days worth of activities planned.  Well, four hours into Day One I was out of activities.  Those first three days were rough.  Baby M went through 8 pairs of underpants a day.  He begged to go to the park.  He said he couldn't figure out how to poop sitting down (his preferred method was standing).  Even though he had been waking up dry for weeks he started wetting the bed, sometimes twice a night.  And even if he didn't wet the bed he would wake up crying hysterically at 4am and want to be carried around the house like a newborn.  

At the end of the 3 days, though he had made progress, I would not claim to anyone that Baby M was potty trained.  The number of accidents was way down but he hadn't pooped for 2 days, and his sleep was still a mess.   So I wrote the Lora Jensen helpdesk for advice.  The e-book purchase includes free online mentoring and here is where the $24 I spent on a 50 page e-book really felt worth it.  I received a prompt, encouraging response with some explicit techniques to deal with the problems we were having.  Some of them were a little odd (I could not bring myself to tell Baby M that Mommy's poops were lonely in the toilet and needed some company) but they were effective.  By Day 7 there were no more daytime accidents and now, 3 weeks later, we only have the occasional nighttime accident.  Baby M is still not sleeping great, but his sleep has always gone in phases, so I'm not sure how much of that we can attribute to potty training.  Overall, I'm pleased with the method and results and am glad that we got through the worst of it before the new baby arrives.

First Day of Preschool

Today was Baby M's first day of preschool.  And to answer the most common question I've been getting... no, nobody cried. He didn't cry.  I didn't cry.  I like to think this just shows how well adjusted we both are, but based on some of the reactions I've been getting I guess this makes me something of a freak. Apparently, it's fine that Baby M didn't cry, but I should have been holding back the tears, peering through the gate and counting the minutes until I picked him up again.

Now maybe it's because today was really just a taste of preschool-- 2 hours with only half of the new kids attending.  Two hours gave me just enough time to drop my husband off at work, stop at the bank and pick up a few things at the grocery store before heading back to collect Baby M.  Perhaps if he'd been away longer I'd have worked myself into a tearful frenzy like the other mothers waiting outside the gate, but I don't think so.  I'm happy Baby M is growing up.  I'm proud that he's able to take on some independence and I'm excited about some of the things he's going to be learning. I'm confident that the preschool he's attending is a safe environment with caring teachers and good kids.  And I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the 12 hours a week that I get to reclaim for myself (at least until Baby #2 arrives).  Sure I felt a twinge of wistfulness that Baby M didn't need me the way he used to, but it was overshadowed by the satisfaction of looking at how far Baby M has come over the last 3 years.

Baby M talks to the Bump

Every so often I ask Baby M if he'd like to say anything to his brother.  Usually he replies, "No, I'll just wait until he comes out."  Other than a brief infatuation with my popped out belly button, Baby M has not been terribly interested in the new baby.  Yesterday, however, when I asked if he'd like to talk to his brother he said "okay."  He knelt down, put his face close to my belly and shouted, "Hey!  Can I get a glass of water?"  Somehow I think Baby M's got the big brother thing down.

The Unhappiest Place on Earth

We took Baby M to Disneyland last weekend.  It seemed like such a good idea.  He is a few months away from 3 years old which means he is tall enough to go on most of the rides but still gets into the park for free.  He is familiar with some of the Disney characters from YouTube videos and really likes Goofy.  Baby M has generally been good with crowds, loud noises, and new experiences.  I thought he would have a blast.

The trip did not go well.  It started off so promising.  We met up with some of my extended family and took the shuttle bus to the park.  Baby M could barely contain his excitement.  He happily walked down Main Street, watched a marching band and walked through Sleeping Beauty's Castle.  We rode the carousel and then tried to convince him to go on the Dumbo ride.  He took a look at it and shook his head no.  So, and here is where we made our big mistake, we decided to try Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.  Now this was one of my favorite rides as a kid, but I'd forgotten how scary it could be for a young child. Baby M happily climbed into the little car with his dad and grandpa, but once the ride started getting dark and loud, crashing through walls and descending into hell he was more than a little frightened.  He kept repeating "I want to go back" with increasing frequency and volume until finally the ride ended.

After that he just wanted to leave the park.  Every few minutes he would say "I want to go back to the shuttle bus and go to our car and go home."  We dragged him on the tamest ride we could find-- The Storybook Land Canal Ride, a slow moving boat that floats past miniature villages in broad daylight, but he cried to get off the whole time. We tried Toon Town, which has a small playground I thought  he might like, but it also has firecrackers going off every few minutes so that was a no go.  Honestly, I'd never seen Baby M so agitated.  I felt awful.

We decided to give up on the rides and get some lunch on the Tomorrowland Terrace.  We had a great table near the stage where cast members were putting on the "Jedi Training Academy" but Baby M refused to sit anywhere near it so we found a table behind the stage and next to a well placed pillar that completely blocked the show from his view.  Baby M picked at his Mac N Cheese until, suddenly, a hidden platform rose up next to us revealing in a cloud of mist Darth Vader, waving around his light saber and threatening the Jedi.  That was it.  Baby M was out of there and my husband carried him around Tomorrowland until the rest of us finished eating.

We walked around the park a little more, hoping something would entice Baby M, but he had made up his mind-- Disneyland was the scariest place on earth and he wanted out of there.  He was even scared of the paddle boat that steamed by us as we strolled down the sidewalk.  Aside from the carousel, we did find two other activities that Baby M enjoyed in Frontierland- the petting zoo and a cabin with free coloring pages.  We probably should have just gone to Griffith Park.  On our way out we stopped for dinner at one of the Main Street restaurants and once Baby M saw there were no more rides with "scary tunnels" he enjoyed eating a hot dog while watching the parade.   We even stopped and took a reasonably happy picture with Mickey Mouse.

I always thought of Baby M as this fearless explorer, but looking back I realized that I missed some of the signs that his personality is evolving.  I remember him as the baby who would crawl over to the big kid playground without looking back and not the toddler who was frightened during the planetarium show;  the boy who comforted the dog during our neighbor's illegal firework display and not the one who refused to the enter the darkened room showing a film about storms at the museum.  It seems Baby M is becoming more cautious, and yes, more fearful as he grows up.  He now requires a nightlight to sleep, greets new experiences with trepidation and literally requires hand holding when entering unfamiliar places.  This may all just reflect an increased awareness of his surroundings and a more developed imagination that allows him to conceive frightening scenarios.  Or maybe Disneyland really did scar him for life.  We'll just have to wait and see.

Baby on the Way

So, I am 21 weeks pregnant.   Everything is going well with the pregnancy and it appears that in November we will be adding a new baby to the family.  I am not very good at telling people that I am expecting.  My general approach is just to show up in my maternity wear, mention nothing and make everyone slightly uncomfortable until some brave soul finally asks, "So, um, you're pregnant, right?"  I know this is weird, but I can't seem to find another way to do it. Because of my past history with miscarriages we put off telling people about the baby and now it just seems we waited too long.  We delayed announcing partly because untelling people that you're pregnant sucks, but mostly because I never feel as excited as everyone else expects me to be.  Four months into the pregnancy, I'm still worried about finding a heartbeat while everyone else is wants to talk nursery decor.   But now that we've made it past the 20 week mark, I am feeling more confident.  I'm still getting there on the excited thing, but I'm making progress.    

We did tell Baby M that we'll be bringing home a baby brother for him soon.  His reaction was, "I hope it has duck feet."  He also offered a name suggestion- "Flombu".  We took him to our 20 week ultrasound where we hoped to set his expectations on the feet thing ("Look!  You can see the baby's totally normal human feet!") but he got bored and asked if he could go back out to the waiting room and play with some toys.  Since he doesn't really seem to be getting this whole baby thing, I've been on the look out for some age appropriate books and toys to help him prepare for the upcoming change.

The first book we got was Baby on the Way by Martha & William Sears.  It's a very sweet book which describes pregnancy as feeling like "love is growing inside [you]" and tries to give a children some insight into what's happening to their mother.  Pregnancy symptoms like queasiness, hunger and fatigue are related back to the child's own experiences.  However, with Baby M this approach backfires. When the books states mommy's tummy feels yucky like "when you eat three slices of birthday cake and ice cream" it completely loses Baby M.  How could there be too much cake?  Granted, Baby M has never had 3 pieces of cake in one sitting, but it sure sounds good to him.  And birthdays are fun too.  And I'm going to be 3 on my next birthday.  Can I have a fish superhero party?  Baby M completely loses focus.   I've started just skipping that section altogether.  But I do think Baby M is making progress too.  A friend crocheted Baby M a doll with a removable hat and diaper and he spent an entire afternoon changing the baby's diaper (the doll is awesome, you can check out her etsy store here).  And tonight Baby M walked over, planted a kiss on my belly and said it was for the baby.  Now who couldn't get excited about that?

Granola

I keep reading about these toddlers who just love helping their parents.  They happily clean up, fold laundry, and set the table.  For the most part, this is not true of Baby M.  If I say, "Hey, do you want to help me with something" he will most likely answer "No" and go about his business.  If I leave an unfolded basket of laundry out it will soon become an upside down laundry "cake" in the middle of the floor.  However, there is one place where he does love to help, the kitchen.

The minute I start prepping something in the kitchen he is there shouting "I want to help yooouuuu!"  Of course, when I suggest that the best way for him to help me would be to pick up the crayons all over the kitchen floor, he is not interested.  He wants to crack the eggs, saute the veggies and chop the carrots.  I don't want to discourage his culinary aspirations so this lead me to seek out safe activities that he could help me with.  We ended up doing quite a bit of baking, which is fine, but we really don't need another batch of cookies in the house, even if they are the healthy oatmeal ones from Alicia Silverstone's cook book (which I must note are my favorite oatmeal cookies EVER).  So I was happy when I came across this recipe for homemade granola at wholeliving.com.  I feel a lot better about letting Baby M snack on granola than cookies, especially granola made with flaxseed meal, egg whites and natural sweeteners.  I love this recipe because we can easily customize it with different fruits and nuts and most importantly, Baby M can help with almost all the steps.  There is lots of measuring and stirring and not much contact with a hot stove.  He still fights me over cracking the eggs, but I win out most of the time.  Hope you enjoy it too.

ReDiscover Roller Coaster

Last Saturday our family visited ReDiscover in Culver City.  ReDiscover is a non-profit that recycles discarded materials to use in hands-on art and learning projects for children.  Every Saturday from 10am to 1pm their warehouse has drop-in art hours where your kid can go crazy with glue, wire, tile, fabric, wood scraps, etc.  The cost is $5 per project, and you can use as many materials as you'd like.

Our visit to ReDiscover was actually prompted by the fact that I finally convinced my husband that we no longer needed his AYSO soccer trophies from 1982.  After calling around I found that ReDiscover would accept the box of trophies as a donation.  So, after lovingly photographing all of the trophies, on Saturday morning we headed over to ReDiscover to drop them off and decided to stay and make some art.

The amount of materials in the warehouse was a bit overwhelming.  Bins and bins of fabric samples, plastic do-dads, wall-paper, ribbon, ceramic tile, wires, buttons, etc.  The staff person gave us a quick tour and while pointing out the boxes of wood scraps suggested to Baby M that they might be good for making a roller coaster.  From that point on Baby M was set on constructing a roller coaster.  And not just any roller coaster, a "very scary roller coaster."  So we helped him glue pieces of wood together and decorate it with stickers, fabric, beads, etc.  Ultimately we only took home a small section of the roller coaster, because we just couldn't manage taking home all 6 feet of his masterpiece.  We were there for a little under 2 hours and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.  While we were working, several adult artists came in to pick up materials for their professional projects as well as a few other preschoolers and a 10 year old who was building an X-ray machine for a school project.  The mood was festive and cooperative and we never felt crowded.

Baby M is 32 months old and I don't think I would take a child much younger than this to the drop-in art at ReDiscover.  The area is not child proofed-- there are lots of potential choking hazards, a hot glue gun within easy reach and many of the materials requires the use of wood glue or wires.  This is not a place you go for your basic crayons, glue and poster paint art project.   But for preschoolers and older kids ReDiscover is a great chance for them to explore new materials, express their creativity and learn about recycling.

All Aboard! Surfliner to San Diego

For Memorial Day our family decided to take the train down to San Diego for the day.  Baby M loves trains and while we've ridden trains at parks, malls, farms, etc., we'd never taken him anywhere on a full sized train.   So on Sunday night we logged on to Amtrak.com and bought our Surfliner tickets-- 3 round trip tickets from Union Station to Solana Beach, where we would meet up with my family for a BBQ.  It turns out the tickets were a little more than I was expecting ($170 for the 3 of us) but at that point I had already talked up the trip to Baby M so there was no turning back.  

We arrived at Union Station 30 minutes before our train departed and parked in the $7 lot across the street.  Our train left right on time at 8:30AM.  Baby M loved seeing the big double decker train and the train tracks.  I loved the fact that we had plenty of room.  Our coach seats had so much leg room that the only way I could kick the seat in front of me was if I stretched my legs out and pointed my toes.  Baby M couldn't reach the folding tray table on the back of the chair in front of us, which the person seated there should be very grateful for.  Although most of the time there was no one seated in front of us or behind us.  The car remained pretty empty for the majority of the trip. We had brought our car seat along and it fit nicely on the floor in front of the seat next to me.  (There is no way to install the car seat on train, we just brought it to put in my parent's car in San Diego).  We rode past train yards, construction sites, recycling plants and Angel's stadium-- perhaps not terribly scenic, but totally interesting to a 2 year old boy.  Once we got down to Orange County we cut over to the coast and had a lovely ride along the beach.  We took a walk down to the cafe car, had a snack (they mostly had pre-packaged food items) and before we knew it the 2 hour 10 minute ride was over. 

Once in Solana Beach we walked down to the beach and Baby M played on a nearby playground.  As an aside, there was tons of free beach parking-- I couldn't believe it.  You never see that in LA!  Then we headed over to my parent's house for a traditional Memorial Day BBQ.  We came back to the station just before 7pm to catch our train home and were disappointed to find that the train was delayed.  We stood on the platform for 30 minutes watching the Estimated Arrival Time increase in 2 minutes increments until finally it held steady at 7:36pm.  Entertaining a toddler on a cold, narrow train platform is a challenge and this was the low point of our trip.  If we had known how long the train was going to be delayed we would have waited in the station, but since the ETA was changing every couple of minutes we were never sure.  Once the train finally arrived we were back home in a little over 2 hours.

Traveling by train is actually a great option for toddlers.  They aren't confined to the car seat, can walk around to the different cars, eat snacks as needed and visit the toilet whenever they want.  As parents you don't have to deal with surly security agents eyeing your sippy cup or a packed cabin full of harried passengers.   Since Baby M does fairly well on a 2-3 hour car ride, we probably won't take the train to San Diego too often, but I would definitely consider it for trips to San Francisco or other towns in Northern California.

Underwood Family Farms

So, it's been awhile since my last blog post.  I got into a tussle with an avocado and a chef's knife and I lost.  I cut my hand, severed a nerve,  ended up in surgery and have been recuperating ever since.  I'm still typing with one hand, but hopefully I will get full motion back in a few weeks, although I was told to expect the numbness to persist for a few months.

After surgery I went and stayed with my in-laws for a few days so that they could help out with Baby M.  While we were there we had a chance to go to Underwood Family Farms in Moorpark.  What a great place for kids!  The farm has animals to feed, mini tractors to ride on and fields where you can pick your own produce (not certified organic, but pesticide free).  It's beautifully landscaped and not nearly as dusty as you'd expect a farm to be.  We went on a Tuesday afternoon and the farm was not crowded at all.

Tickets are $3 to get in (under 2 is free) and you can purchase tickets to ride ponies, pan for gold or ride the little train.    We skipped the rides, but did spend a dollar to buy food to feed the goats, alpacas and chickens.  We brought a picnic lunch which we ate in the grassy play area while Baby M enjoyed digging in the sand and riding the tiny toy tractors.  Then we took a walk around the animal pens, stopping to feed a few animals and to watch the biggest pig I have ever seen have a bath.  We also stopped to play on the big wooden train across from the pig pen.

Finally, we headed out to the fields to pick some strawberries.  It was a bit of a trek to the strawberry fields and luckily we had the foresight to grab one of the wagons provided by the farm.  Baby M was happy riding in the wagon, but I don't think he would have made it if he had to walk the whole way.  The vegetables (beans, lettuce, broccoli) were much closer to the entrance.  Fresh picked strawberries are delicious and these were no exception.  They were big, bright red and juicy.  Baby M really loved looking for the berries and helping his Lola find the biggest ones.  We paid $1.99 a pound for a nice big basket.  If you don't want to pick your own, you can buy the farm's produce from their stand near the entrance, for a slightly higher price.  But why miss out on the fun of running around the fields?

We spent 2 hours at the farm, a good length of time for Baby M.  Moorpark is about an hour's drive from West LA, so I can't see us going back often, but I will definitely try to incorporate a trip to the farm the next time we visit my in-laws.  Underwood Farms also does birthday parties which I would totally consider if we lived a little closer.  If you're looking for a fun, educational experience I definitely recommend Underwood Farms.

Library Books

Baby M and I go to the library nearly every week and in the past I have spent a fair amount of time carefully picking out books for him.  I'd wander the children's section while Baby M played with blocks, looking for the perfect mix of books-- a variety of artistic styles, some with simple text and some with rhymes, some about trains and some about children from foreign lands.  If he expressed an interest in turtles I would find a book about a turtle.  But now that Baby M is two and a half and Mr. Independent he insists on choosing his own books to take home.  I am pleased that he is interested in books and reading, but I am not always happy with some of the lessons that the books he chooses impart.  Here are a few ideas found in some of the books Baby M has picked up that I could do without

1. Vegetables are yucky and should be fed to the nearest pet dinosaur
2. There are scary monsters in your closet, under your bed and peeking in your window at night
3. Ice cream is a good reward for just about anything
4. Little brothers are annoying
5. "Shut Up"
6. Girl trucks talk too much and might just be insane, while boy trucks are bent on destruction, or at a minimum, getting really dirty

Now I understand that some kids already think vegetables are yucky or that monsters are hiding in their bedroom, but I would really like to avoid introducing these concepts to Baby M if I can.  Sometimes when reading I'll change the story around, but then worry if I am hurting his literacy skills by not reading the words on the page.  Sometimes a book will mysteriously "get lost".  I still pick out books for Baby M and try to sneak them into his pile, but somehow The Stupids Take Off  always ends up on the top of the stack.

So how about it?  Have you ever been surprised by a message in a children's book?  How do you handle  it when you dislike the books your child chooses?

Baby M's Top 5 Toys for Toddlers

By request, here are Baby M's top toys for toddlers.  Baby M is two and half years old.  His interests include trucks, dirt, sticks, trains and dinosaurs.   So these are Baby M's favorite toys.  The ones he continues to play with week after week.  The ones that haven't broken after 2 hours and the ones that I haven't felt compelled to hide for my own sanity.  And, in case you were wondering,  I do not receive any free toys, coupons or any other sort of compensation from anybody.

Step2 Sand and Water Table
Baby M got this sandbox for his first birthday and he continues to play with it daily.  I am amazed at how much time he can spend happily digging, scooping and splashing.  Even better, he is quite content to play alone so that I can get a few things done.  The toy is not perfect; my patio is perpetually covered with sand and I need to re-purchase sand a few times a year.  Also, abandon any hope you have of the sand and water being sides staying separate.  If your child is anything like Baby M you will have 2 sections of muck within minutes of setting it up.  That being said, I highly recommend this toy.  It would be my desert island toy, if desert islands didn't already come with ample amounts of sand and water.




Animal Planet's Big Tub of Dinosaurs
Baby M loves dinosaurs and this set comes with 9 plastic dinosaurs,  a play mat, trees, rocks and volcanoes that you can set up to create a prehistoric world.  Baby M always wants to know the names of the various dinosaurs (actually by now he knows more of them than me!) and I like that this set prints each dinosaur's name on its belly.  Baby M and I set up the volcanoes and have the dinosaurs play hide and seek, look for food, play soccer, etc.  I also enjoy eavesdroping on Baby M when he plays with this toy alone.  His dinosaurs have all kinds of conversations, they usually go something like

T-Rex: Hey!  Are you a hungry, hungry herbivore?
Stegosaurus : Yes, I am
T-Rex: Roar

Crayola Sidewalk Chalk
Baby M likes to draw and I just send him outside with this chalk so he can color all over the driveway to his heart's content.  I like this set from Crayola because the chalk is nice and thick, doesn't break easily and there is a good selection of colors.  If we're feeling like being active we'll draw out a game of hopscotch.  If I think Baby M needs some intellectual stimulation we'll practice letters or draw a rainbow and talk about colors.  Sometimes we just draw squiggles.  I think because we can draw things on such a large scale and because we're doing it while we're outside he finds it more interesting than sitting at the kitchen table with a box of crayons.  (And I don't have to worry about crayon ending up all over my table, walls and hardwood floors)



Thomas and Friends Wooden Railway
So yes, it does seem every little boy loves trains and Thomas in particular.  We never really watched the show, but all it took were a couple Thomas and Friends books and trip to Travel Town to get Baby M on board.  We started with this oval set and then bought a few other pieces (a tunnel, some additional tracks, a Rosie Engine and a singing caboose).  Now our set up is still pretty simple but Baby M is seems happy with it.  I actually wouldn't mind having a few more pieces since I'm the one who usually ends up constructing the track and I'd like a little variety.  Once the track is built, Baby M is content to push the trains around yelling out "Uh oh, Rosie derailed!" every so often.  The wooden pieces are sturdy and go together easily, although I do know some parents who have spent a small fortune building out their sons' collections.


Bristle Blocks
We actually have a 50 piece Bristle Block set by Lakeshore Learning, but I'd love to have a larger set like the one shown here.  Baby M has several building toys that he enjoys playing with and they all have their merits, but the Bristle Blocks are my favorite.  Baby M can put these blocks together without any help from me and because you can connect them on nearly every surface it's easy to build complicated structures.  Baby M builds cars, airplanes, helicopters, robots, etc.  Also, unlike many of the building sets, the blocks do not specify what he is supposed to build, so they encourage his creativity.

A Trip to Sea World

Last week my mother and I took Baby M to Sea World.  Growing up in San Diego I took a lot of school field trips to Sea World.  It was basically a zoo for aquatic animals-- a few aquariums, tanks for dolphins and sea lions, the Penguin Encounter, some corny shows, the Sparkletts Water Show and, my favorite, Captain Kids World.  Captain Kids World was a playground with nets to climb on, giant bounce houses, and a maze of full size punching bags where inevitably a 12 year old would barrel through leaving a string of injured 3 year olds in his wake. 


It's been at least 15 years since my last trip to Sea World, and while much of it has stayed the same (the Penguin Encounter, the dolphin tanks), it definitely has more of an amusement park feel now.  The park has added a roller coaster, a raft ride and replaced most of Captain Kid's World with the Sesame Street Bay of Play.   They've also updated their ticket prices so that they are more Disneyland and less zoo.  An adult ticket costs $69, kids tickets (ages 3-9) are $59 and parking is $12.  It's definitely worth searching out discounts.  We got 20% off our tickets by showing our Southwest Rapid Rewards card and thankfully, Baby M, being under 3, was free.  Also, you cannot bring food into the park, so plan on buying your lunch or heading back to your car for a picnic.  I did bring in some snacks for Baby M and no one objected.


We got to the park around 10:30 and ended up waiting 30 minutes just to get into the park.  Buy your tickets in advance if you can.  We started out at The Sesame Street Bay of Play, which has Sesame Street themed rides and characters as well as some of the climbing nets from the old Captain Kids World.  Baby M enjoyed the spinning teacup ride and getting his picture taken with Elmo, but I have to admit I kind of miss the old unbranded, non-motorized, probably more dangerous playground that I grew up with.  We hit most of the exhibits breaking them up with lunch, the sea lion show (still as corny as ever) and the 4-D theater presentation of Sesame Street's Lights, Camera, Imagination.  The 4-D theater shows movies in 3-D but also has squirting water, vibrating seats and air jets.  Baby M managed to keep his 3-D glasses on and enjoyed the show, happily yelling out "I need an umbrella!" when it started "raining" in the theater.  There was one scary moment involving a giant flying cookie, but overall he did really well sitting through the 20 minute movie. 


We had fun at Sea World and since Baby M is particularly interested in sea creatures (and still free!) it was a great time for us to go.  But it was also a long and tiring day.  We were there for 8 hours on a hot day during Spring Break.  Some of the exhibits were crowded and the shows were very full. Baby M was pretty good about riding in the stroller, but still needed to be carried through some exhibits.  I'm definitely glad we went  but I don't feel a need to back again until he is older and can get more out of the shows and rides.

Potty Training Pressure

For the past few months whenever anyone asked me about potty training I'd (truthfully) reply that my pediatrician said not to bother starting until Baby M was two and a half.   I cited recent research showing that the biggest predictor of success for potty training is when you start, optimally between 24 and 32 months.  But as more and more of Baby M's playmates made the switch to underwear I started feeling the pressure.  My in-laws gave me a DVD on potty training. Huggies started sending me coupons for Pull-Ups instead of diapers. I just kept repeating  my mantra-- "two and a half, two and a half."  But now Baby M is just days away from from the 30 month mark and the pressure is on.

The potty is not a new concept to Baby M.  We've had a little green Ikea potty in his bathroom for months.  We talk about the potty and what goes it in.  We've read all about how Elmo uses the potty.  But Baby M has no interest in using the potty himself.  When I notice that he is about to have a bowel movement I ask if he wants to sit on the potty and he says, "No, I'll just go in my diaper."  When we talk about how babies poop in diapers and big boys poop in the potty he is always sure to add, "but sometimes big boys pop in a diaper."  When I ask him if he wants to learn to use the potty he brushes me off saying, "Maybe in the summertime."

And to be honest, I am just as ambivalent about potty training as he is.  I don't relish the idea of being confined to the house so that we can sit on the potty every 30 minutes.  I don't want to carry a potty with me in addition to the snacks, toys and whatever else it is that I lug around in my ridiculously heavy diaper bag.  And then there is the extra laundry, upholstery and carpet cleaning that will undoubtedly result from the process.  Most importantly, I don't want to get into a battle of wills with Baby M.  I know I will lose.

So I think I may delay a little longer.  I've still got 2 more months before we hit the 32 month deadline, after which point he will be more likely to suffer ongoing urge incontinence issues.  And it is starting to get pretty warm outside, so maybe in a few weeks I can convince Baby M that it's the summertime.  Although the last time I asked him about learning to use the potty he said, "Maybe when I go to preschool in the fall."  Hmmm.... I can't imagine where he gets this tendency to procrastinate from.

Raising Freethinkers

I just finished reading Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief by Dale McGowan. I read Parenting Beyond Belief a few years ago; it's a series of reflections on non-religious parenting written from a variety of perspectives, everything from "spiritual but not religious" types to those in interfaith marriages to militant atheists. I enjoyed that book so when I heard there was a sequel out I decided to take a look.

Raising Freethinkers is more of a practical parenting guide and, despite having several authors, the perspective is relatively unified. The message is pretty middle of the road-- lots of calls for tolerance, the Unitarian church and letting kids make their own choices. The book's format makes for a quick read. For each major topic there is a 2-3 page introduction followed by a Q&A section and a list of related activities and resources. Topics range from how to build critical thinking skills to the value of religious literacy to sexuality. Most of the activities are geared towards older kids (ages 6 and above), so there weren't a lot of projects for me to do with Baby M right now. The resource lists, however, are exhaustive-- books, web sites, organizations with a secular bent for every conceivable topic. Looking for tips on planning a funeral for a goldfish? Got it . Alternative organizations to the Boy Scouts? Check. Toys that teach kids about evolution and natural selection? No problem. I checked the book out of the library, but I'm considering adding it to my parenting library for the resource lists alone.

I should note that so far it has not been very difficult being a non-religious parent. I live in Los Angeles, not Utah. There are plenty of non-religious activities and groups here to be a part of. I don't have any terribly religious relatives pushing traditions on me and my husband and I are more or less in sync when it comes to morals and ethics, celebrating holidays and the lack of religion in Baby M's life. That being said, there are things that religion does seem to make easier. I can see how it would be nice to have the shortcut answer "because God says so" to certain questions. Trying to explain why lying is wrong to a 2 year old can be difficult. And when Baby M asked why peacocks have big feathers it certainly would have been quicker to say "because God made them that way" instead of going into an explanation of mutation and natural selection. Raising Freethinkers does a good job of giving non-religious parents some ideas and techniques for discussing these sorts of complex ideas with children.

McGowan also points out that there are some things non-religious parents might want to take a cue from the devout on. Organized religion does a very good job of supporting the members of its community. It creates a space where everyone can work together to teach common values to their children. I can see the benefit of my child being around other adults who regularly talk about the importance our our family's values -- honesty, respect, responsibility, fairness and compassion (yes we do have them, just because we don't go to church doesn't mean we don't have values). Also, religions have built in traditions to mark and celebrate milestones. I may not want to throw Baby M a Bar Mitzvah, but it might be nice to acknowledge and celebrate his eventual transition to adulthood, noting both its benefits and responsibilities. Raising Freethinkers gives ideas and suggestions on how to incorporate community and ritual into a secular family.

The book gave me a lot to think about, most of which will probably just get filed away for later as I deal with the more pressing issues of potty training, nose picking and getting Baby M to eat something other than Kashi cereal. Seriously, he is addicted to Kashi cereal. Last night he was talking in his sleep, chanting "More Kashi cereal. More Kashi cereal." At least I know he's getting enough fiber.

Kid's Music, Train Music, Finger Dancing Music

About a year ago I visited a friend whose toddler was addicted to kid's music. Not good kid's music. Not a variety of kid's music. One CD of kid's music. The kind of kid's music that gives kid's music a bad name. There were no clever lyrics a la They Might Be Giants no catchy tunes from The Sippy Cups, no duets between Perry Farrell and Deborah Harry. There was one chirpy woman over enunciating "This Old Man" accompanied by a piano and, I'm not kidding, a recorder. You just knew this woman had buggy eyes, an extra wide grin and probably a "fun" hat. But for whatever reason the child loved this music. The CD had to be playing the moment the car started and it was the only music he allowed in the house. During the pauses between songs the boy would panic, apparently convinced he would never hear that cloyingly sweet voice again. I left the long weekend with "Trot Old Joe" on an endless loop in my head and a renewed commitment to avoid exposing Baby M to kids music.

To be honest, I never really understood the need for kids music. I grew up listening to my parents old Beatles albums and the Grease soundtrack. Why couldn't Baby M just listen to the music we enjoyed? He seemed to like it well enough. Then one day we were in the car and Nine Inch Nails came on the radio. "What's this song all about?" Baby M asked. "Animals", I said and left it at that. But Baby M did get several age appropriate CDs for Christmas (Jazz for Kids, Sesame Street Playground, and A World of Happiness).

Lately, however, Baby M has become more discerning in his musical tastes. He likes "Train Music" and "Boat Music" but not "People Music" or "Dancing Music" (although "Finger Dancing Music" is approved.) Unfortunately I have not been able to crack his classification system. For "Train Music" I tried songs about trains. I tried songs with train whistles in them. I tried songs with drum beats that sounded like the clickety-clack of train cars. I even tried a song by the band Train. None of those worked. Then yesterday we were driving in the car and Baby M cried out "This is Train Music!" Turns out "Love Cats" by the Cure is Train Music. Who knew?

Fire Truck Museum

Today we went to the LAFD Historical Society museum in Hollywood, aka The Fire Truck Museum. If your kid is into fire trucks, this is a great place to visit. The museum is located in Old Fire Station 27 which was built in the 1930’s and for many years was the largest fire station west of the Mississippi. Inside you’ll find antique fire trucks, ambulances, hoses, etc. They even had some of those big nets for catching people with the red bull’s-eye in the middle; apparently they don’t only exist in cartoons.

The first floor has all of the big trucks and equipment, along with a display of miniature fire trucks behind glass. Sadly, the kids are not allowed to climb on the trucks. Upstairs there are more exhibits and a large room with toy fire trucks and dress up uniforms for the kids to play with. Baby M and his good friend Baby F killed about 2 hours running around the museum and playing with the toys. It’s worth noting that there were only 3 or 4 trucks in the play area, possibly a problem if more than a few kids show up. Today it was just us and one other child, and, oddly enough, the Daughters of the American Revolution, who were using the upstairs meeting room. The museum staff, mostly made up of retired firemen, was very friendly and gave the kids free plastic fire hats to take home with them. And as a bonus for us moms, there are also active firemen hanging around which is nice if you get tired of looking at trucks and ladders.

The museum is open Saturdays only from 10am – 4pm and is free, although a $5 donation per adult is requested. I found free street parking less than a block away without too much trouble and there were plenty of metered spots available as well.

Let sleeping babies lie?

Lately Baby M is not a big fan of the car seat. Getting him into the seat takes a lot of convincing, cajoling and the occasional threat of police intervention. Earlier this week I was parked next to the library in the midst of tense car seat negotiations when an SUV pulled up behind me. I didn't pay much attention to it and 15 minutes later, after finally getting Baby M buckled in, I got out of back seat walked around to the car driver's side. I happened to look up at the Escape parked behind me and saw 2 sleeping babies, probably around a year old in the backseat. I froze. What should I do? Yes, the windows were cracked and the kids seemed fine, but it was a warm day and and the car wasn't shaded. And, besides hasn't everyone heard a tragic story about a baby being left in car? Who does that?

Okay, actually I do that, but under very controlled circumstances. I leave my sleeping kid in the car parked on my shaded back patio with all the windows open, behind a locked gate and guard dog. I stay nearby and I don't do it when it's hot out. There it is, my true mom confession.

Now aside from worrying about confronting a possibly ornery father there was also the fact that I had just gotten Baby M into his car seat. Taking him back out and then putting him in again would delay us a minimum of 30 minutes. And leaving him strapped in while I ran into the library to complain about someone else's baby locked in a car seemed a bit too hypocritical. So I decided to wait 5 minutes and see if the man returned.

Now I totally get the urge to leave your sleeping kid in the car and I'm sure the prospect of rousing 2 sleeping toddlers for what should be a 5 minute errand seems ridiculous. That's why since becoming a parent I've become a big fan of the drive-through. Drive-through restaurants, drive-through coffee, drive-through drug stores. Now if only there was a drive-through supermarket, a drive-through Target and a drive-through library I would be all set. But when there is no drive-through you can't just leave your kids in the car. A five minute errand can easily become a 20 or 30 minute ordeal. Which is what seemed to have happened in this case.

After 5 minutes and still no dad, I got out of the car. I looked around and resigned myself to taking Baby M out and initiating a potentially ugly confrontation. Then, to my relief, a older couple walked by. I explained the situation and asked if they would mind having the library page the father. They readily agreed. I was still worried about an unpleasant encounter with the dad, so I got in my car and started circling the block. Two loops later the father appeared with his books and got in the car and drove away.

I still wonder if I should have handled it differently. Maybe I should have just waited around, keeping an eye on the kids as a show of compassion for a busy parent. Maybe I should expressed my concerns to the father directly, letting him know I understood his predicament, but that he was really endangering his kids, instead of wimping out and letting someone else do the dirty work. Maybe I should have called the police and taught him a lesson. I don't know. What would you have done?

The Snowman

Baby M is a big fan of snowmen. In particular, Frosty the Snowman. Two months after Christmas we still sing the song daily and read the story several times a week. Baby M reminisces about watching the animated Frosty special with his grandparents, saying "We only listened to Frosty; there was no pictures." (Grandparents were babysitting and couldn't figure out to work our TV. Amazingly, Baby M listened to the entire 30 minute show while watching a blank screen. Luckily we Tivo'd it and he got to watch it again with sound and picture.) Every so often he says "Frosty the Snowman is a mailman" and then laughs like a loon. This is a joke that my in-laws taught him. Don't ask me. I don't get it. The point is, thinking, talking and singing about snowmen take up a fair amount of Baby M's time.

So when we traveled up to Big Bear this past weekend we were really looking forward to building a snowman with him. On the way up the mountain my husband and I quizzed Baby M: "How do you build a snowman?" Baby M replied matter-of-factly, "You need snow feet and you need to buy snow ears and get a carrot nose." Then for clarification he added, "Frosty has a button nose."

We met up with our friends and their 2 kids at our rented cabin and spent an hour or so building a 4 foot tall snowman. The snow was a bit icy so it wasn't an easy task, and I kept lobbying for a 2 foot tall snowman, but to no avail. My husband was insistent that the snowman be at least as tall as a Kindergartener. He and the kids soldiered on and eventually they created a pretty impressive snowman. Baby M, however, was disappointed. "He doesn't talk," he stated flatly. I tried to explain to him that Frosty had a magic hat and that's why he could talk, but Baby M just looked at me and said, "No Mommy, he's just pretend." So much for childhood fantasy.

Later that afternoon some more friends came up to visit with their 3 kids who proceeded knock the head off the snowman and then punch and kick him until he was just a sad little snow pile. Baby M didn't seem to mind and with 6 kids under 6 running around none of the parents said much about it either. But my poor husband was crushed. As we drove down the mountain he sadly wondered why everyone stood by and allowed a pack of boys to destroy the lovingly built snowman. Why didn't anyone apologize? Don't kids today have any respect? He would have sounded like a grumpy old man except for the fact that he was sincerely heartbroken over it. Poor guy. I guess sometimes neither snowmen nor Daddies get any respect.

Star Eco Station

I'd been hearing about something called the Star Eco Station in Culver City for about a year, but I never quite understood what it was. I knew it had tours and reptiles and was somewhere along Jefferson Blvd, but that was about the extent of my knowledge. So today Baby M and I decided to find out what the Star Eco Station is all about. (One of Baby M's catchphrases lately is "What's this all about?" It is applied to everything from books to breakfast cereal.)

The Star Eco Station provides rescue and rehabilitation for illegal, abandoned or abused exotic wildlife. You know when you hear about a trucker who kept a bobcat in his cab for years, feeding it nothing but bologna and hot dogs? That cheetah ends up at Star Eco Station, along with abandoned cockatoos, iguanas, boa constrictors, etc. Visitors can tour the center learn about the animals and view them up close. The Star Eco Station also works with the community and local schools to do environmental outreach and education.

Baby M and I showed up for the 11:30am tour on Sunday and were the only ones there, although there were a few people ahead of us on the 11:00 tour. Our tour guide, Eden, was friendly and knowledgeable and did a good job of tailoring the tour to Baby M's level. We started off looking at fish and turtles, and then moved on to the big cats (bobcats, servals, etc), but the real highlight of the tour was the reptile room. Here Baby M was able to see geckos, iguanas, pythons, chameleons and giant dragon lizards that he mistook for dinosaurs. But even more exciting than mini dinosaurs was the fact that Eden took many of the reptiles out of the cages and allowed Baby M to pet and hold them. I never expected to see my two year old holding a boa constrictor and if I did, I certainly didn't think I'd be telling him to smile so I could snap a photo, but I did just that. Finally we moved on to the exotic bird room which was loud and smelly, though the birds were colorful and Baby M enjoyed watching volunteers feed them nuts.

Our tour lasted about 30 minutes, but I know Eden skipped or shortened stops at a few of the exhibits due to Baby M's age, which was appropriate. I could see the tour lasting about an hour for an older, engaged child. That being said, I do think it was worth taking Baby M. He was very interested in the animals, loved seeing them up close and I got some very cool pictures. Tickets are $8 for adults and $6 for kids (infants in strollers are free). I can see us coming back for the tour again in a few years and will definitely check out some of the annual Star Eco Station community events like the DinoFaire and the Creepy Crawly Creature Feature.

You're not the boss of me

Today I told Baby M, "You're not the boss of me!" Seriously. Which one of us is two again? What's even more embarrassing is that I don't think either one of us believed me when I said it. Baby M is sooo the boss of me. "Pick me up. "Put me down." "Dance with me." "Give me a snack." "No, not rice cakes." I feel like I obey every one of his commands and yet this tiny dictator is still never satisfied. This is one of those days that I'm sure I am just one ineffective parenting tactic away from my Supernanny debut.

Of course, I'm sure to Baby M it seems that I'm the tyrant. "Time to eat." "Let's get dressed." "Step away from the DVD player." However he doesn't acquiesce or respond with petulant slogans. He simply screams "No," runs away and hides behind the curtains. At least I haven't sunk to concealing myself in the draperies yet. Let's hope both of us can learn to respond a bit more maturely to requests in the next few months.