Mean Baby at the Library

Since it has been so hot lately Baby M and I have been spending some time at the local libraries. We haven't been to a story time yet, but every library has at least one scheduled during the week. Baby M is not quite ready to sit and listen to a story, but he loves crawling around and pulling books off the shelves. These days Baby M needs a lot of space to explore and our little 1940's era house just isn't cutting it.

So far my favorite library is the LAPL Playa Vista branch. The library has a large children's wing with plenty of board books and also wooden puzzles, large foam blocks and funny little velvet cars. We went on a Monday morning and there was only one other child in the room which meant Baby M could crawl around without any danger of being run over by an older kid. The Mar Vista branch is also nice. The children's room is much smaller, but it has lots of board books in large tin buckets and a built in bench that is the perfect height for Baby M to cruise on.

Today we went to the Main Branch of the Santa Monica library. I spent a lot of time in this library pre-Baby M because it has a much larger selection of titles than my local branch and it's really just a lovely space to be in. There is a garden patio, a cafe and lots of natural light. But today was the first time that I'd ventured into the children's area. There are no toys and the board books are not really baby accessible; they sit on a low shelf along a main walkway and I'm concerned that Baby M would get stepped on while he picked out his books. On the plus side, there is a huge open activity area where Baby M was able to crawl to his heart's content. Without any doorways, heating grates, tables or chairs to dodge he was really able to build up some speed. He was like Baby Flash, or whichever superhero has the power of super-speed. While Baby M happily wandered around a little boy, maybe 3 years old, came into the room and was very excited to point out the baby. He got down on his hands and knees to mimic Baby M's crawling. This got Baby M very excited and he made a bee-line for the little boy, hands and knees pounding, head wobbling, screeching like a banshee. The little boy stood up, said "Mean Baby" and stomped out of the room. Completely unconcerned my "Mean Baby" ambled off to try to pick up some shadows by the window.

UCLA Baby Lab

Right after I brought Baby M home from the hospital I read What's Going On In There by Lise Eliot. The book, written by a neuroscientist, describes how an infant's brain is formed and how each sense develops. In addition to providing details on the physical structures of the brain and the role genetics and environment play in development, the author also explained many of the experiments used to gather the information. I really enjoyed the book and although it was a bit heavy on the science, it was a nice break from the practical infant care guides I had been reading at the time. In particular I found many of the experiments fascinating. Did you know that whether or not a 4 year old can delay eating a marshmallow is one of the biggest predictors of success later in life? I've already got "Run marshmallow experiment on Baby M" penciled in for 2011.

Since I'm already planning on doing my own experiments on Baby M, it's no surprise that when I received a card in the mail from the UCLA Baby Lab looking for test subjects I said "Sign us up!" Don't worry, there are no experimental drugs involved or weird psychological tests. We went in for our first study this week which has to do with whether or not infants will pay attention to illusory figures. Baby M just had to watch a TV screen for about 15 minutes and an eye tracking device monitored where he looked. Sometimes he looked at the illusory figure and sometimes he did not, which the researcher said was pretty typical. Baby M also had some time to warm up to the researchers and play with some of the toys in the lab. All of the researchers were very nice and happy to share information about their research. I would definitely go back if another study opens up.

There was no compensation for participating, although we did get free parking at UCLA and a cute T-shirt for Baby M. My husband wonders why anyone would participate, but he has never stayed home all day with Baby M. As most stay at home moms will tell you, anything that gets you out of the house for a few hours is worthwhile. Especially if it is free (most structured activities and even some playgroups cost $20 a visit), allows Baby M to see something new and allows Mom to have a bit of grown-up conversation.

Baby Talk

A few weeks ago my mother-in-law sent me a clip from Good Morning America regarding the importance of talking to your baby. Studies show that a child's success in school is related to how much parents talk to that child, which is not particularly surprising. What is surprising is that experts recommend you say 17,000 words to your child every day. That's a lot of words! Even before I had a baby I rarely spoke 17,000 words a day. The clip also highlighted a product invented by a presumably OCD mom that clips on to your baby and counts the number of words he hears each day, kind of like a pedometer for words. If my SAT prep serves me correctly, I believe that would be verbometer or a logometer, but this mom called her device LENA (Language Environment Analysis).

After watching this story I became semi-obsessed with the 17,000 words. Not obsessed enough to invent a verbometer, but obsessed enough to worry every time I sat surreptitiously reading the newspaper while Baby M banged his toy bus on the floor. I wondered if I should be reading the paper out loud. But wouldn't that break his concentration? I tried increasing the number of children's books I read to Baby M but, newly mobile, he was not very interested in sitting around listening to me read. Every book I pulled out he either grabbed and chewed or grabbed and started ripping apart. I mentioned the 17,000 words to a friend of mine and she, being much more practical than me, immediately calculated that given the number of hours her son is awake, she would have to say about 28 words every minute to meet the goal. She then counted the number of words in her son's favorite book (she is also perhaps a little more obsessive than me) and determined that she reads 1400 words in about 10 minutes. Given 40 minutes of reading time plus some good narration of her daily activities, maybe she could pull it off.

The only book I read daily to Baby M is Goodnight Moon, which has 300 words. He is also a fan of Hello Bee, Hello Me with a paltry 25 words. I do try to narrate my day, but I've realized I don't do a whole lot. Most of my day is spent watching Baby M do stuff, which I suppose I could narrate-- "Here you are chewing my flip flop", "On look you're banging a spoon on the floor." Sometimes he'll watch me unload the dishwasher and I can actually get quite a few words out of that. The other thing I've noticed is that I frequently just mimic what Baby M says. I think I read mimicry is good for his self-esteem, but maybe he will end up thinking "blah-bli- phtttt- blap" is a word. Maybe he already does. So I'm becoming more conscious of the words I say to Baby M. I find myself often saying "I see you Baby," since Baby M likes to crawl off to another room and then turn around to make sure I am still watching. If I stopped there, that would be fine; "see" and "baby" are perfectly good words, but no, I don't stop there. You see, I cannot say "I see you Baby" without following it with "shaking that ass." Ten to one Baby M's first word is "ass".

Baby proofing

I've found that most parents fall into one of two camps when it comes to baby proofing. The first group identifies every possible danger, hires professionals to install gates, cabinet locks and hideous table bumpers. The second group fully intends to baby proof their home but suddenly finds their child mobile and ends up covering up outlets and hiding power cords moments before curious little hands seize them. Not surprisingly, I fall into the second camp.

Baby M is now 8 months old and he crawls, pulls up, cruises and even climbs. I am a little surprised at how quickly he progressed from tentative creeping to full speed ahead, multi-directional mobility. To give myself credit, I did make a few attempts at baby proofing before he started pulling up. We replaced our entertainment center, which consisted of precariously balanced baskets, glass shelves and a home-assembled Ikea TV stand with something a little more sturdy. I covered the outlets. I bought some furniture wall straps, but didn't install them because I couldn't figure out how to use the stud finder. I also bought some no-drill cabinet locks, but they are so difficult to open that we end up leaving them hanging unlocked on the cabinet handles. Baby M finds them irresistible and uses them to pull the cabinets open usually hitting himself on the head in the process. Luckily he hasn't shown any interest in actually taking anything out of the cupboards yet, just opening them. I guess I should only give myself half-credit for those last two.

But for the most part, I am finding out what I need to move / secure / gate off as we go along. At this point all of the little knick-knacks, candles, picture frames, etc. on my lower shelves have been moved and now sit on my kitchen counter until I can find a better place to put them. They have been replaced with random baby-friendly objects. Our shelves now feature a half-full plastic water bottle, an empty oatmeal container, a red ball and a variety of teething toys. Any dreams I ever had of being featured in Architectural Digest are over. Power strips have been quickly shoved behind file cabinets and only magazines I don't mind seeing shredded are on the coffee table. We've learned to keep the bathroom doors closed.

And there have been a few items that I didn't get to in time. During a recent cold snap our heater came on unexpectedly. Baby M crawled across the floor register, as he had done dozens of times, but this time is was hot and he ended up with a grid pattern seared into his hand. We're lucky he wasn't burned over more of his body. Its a horrible feeling to know that you didn't keep your child safe.

On a lighter note, I've also found it necessary to baby proof myself. Yesterday I was standing in the kitchen when I suddenly found myself without pants. Baby M had been trying to pull up on my legs but ended up pantsing me instead. Neither of us was very happy; Baby M did not accomplish his goal of standing up and I did not achieve my goal of wearing pants. I guess from now on I will wear a belt.