None of the Above

Baby M is nearly 20 months old and has definite ideas about nearly everything-- how and when to eat, what book to read, which form of transportation to use, what to wear, etc. Every book I've read about toddlers suggests that the key to a happy child is offering him a choice. "Do you want to wear the red bib or the blue bib?" "Shall we take the stroller or walk?" The idea is that by allowing him a choice you give the toddler some control over the situation. He feels empowered and doesn't throw a tantrum. This all sounds good in theory and I've actually seen other moms employ the technique successfully on the playground. Tantrums have been avoided simply by saying, "Oh look, you can play with the green shovel or the fire truck, which do you want?"

Baby M, however, is too smart to fall for this ploy. When I ask him if he would like peas or broccoli he twists around in the high chair and points to the refrigerator shouting "Toast! Toast!" If I say "Let's pick a bib to wear," he wails "Noooo!" He has already learned that just because something isn't displayed doesn't mean it's not available.

It's nice to know that he is going to be an independent thinker and not feel compelled to accept what he is offered. On the other hand, I am really worried about how terrible those terrible twos are going to be. So far Baby M's tantrums have been manageable. We have a few outbursts each day, but the number of kicking and screaming, out-of-control eruptions has been minimal and I'm hoping to keep it that way. Since the whole "choice" strategy isn't working, I'd love to hear other suggestions for avoiding toddler tantrums.