Purple Vans with Pink Hearts

M's favorite color is purple.  He's also quite fond of pink.  So when we walked into the Vans store and he saw a pair of purple slip ons with pink hearts, well, those were the shoes he wanted.  Now I  went into Vans shoe store to avoid the fights over $60 light up shoes and ugly shoes with plastic clone wars characters plastered all over them but now I was faced with a whole new shoe dilema.  Do I buy him the shoes he wanted despite the fact that they were clearly intended for girls or do I push him toward the classic checkered Vans?

I've tried to avoid reinforcing gender stereotypes with M.  I was never one of those kooky parents who hid his gender from people, but I've happily painted his toenails pink, watched him dance around in princess dresses and told him that yes, Queen Amidala can fight in battles just like Anakin.  (Of course when I added that girls can do anything boys can do M, ever the contrarian, replied "Can they grow a penis?")  But I balked at buying the purple shoes with the pink hearts.  First I tried distraction, "How about these shoes with the flames?"  Then I tried honesty, "I think these shoes are for girls.  You can get them if you want, but some people might make fun of you."  That didn't phase him either.  I was ready to grudgingly buy the shoes but then the salesman showed him some "ghost flame" shoes and M was sold.  Apparently 20 year old dreadlocked Jason Castro impersonators have more sway with my son than I do.

So he got the "ghost flame" shoes and we continued on with our errands, stocking up on glitter paint and construction paper.  But my reaction to the shoes still kind of bothers me.  I know if my daughter had wanted to get flame shoes or car shoes I wouldn't have thought twice about it.  It seems girls, at least at this age, have much more flexibility with their image than boys do.  I see plenty of little girls on the playground wearing Spiderman t-shirts and Lightning McQueen sneakers, but I never see any boys in Little Mermaid hoodies.  Is it because boys aren't interested in mermaids or is it because parents won't let them be?  I'd like to think that I'd be just as happy if M wanted to be a ballerina as I am that he wants to be an astronaut, but now I'm not sure.  In any case, if one day he does decide to buy the pink shoes I hope he   wears them with aplomb and that I stand behind him smiling proudly.

Aaaahh! Kindergarten

Freaking about kindergarten is something of a rite of passage for parents in Los Angeles.  Unless you happen to be blessed with a top performing neighborhood school or the contacts and cash to get into a private school you will probably spend the year before kindergarten frantically touring schools, applying to lotteries and calculating how to get more points on your Choices applications.

Since M has an October birthday I had the additional chance to agonize over whether or not to send him to kindergarten in the fall, when he'll still be 4 or to wait another year and send him when he's 5.  California's cut-off for kindergarten is moving over the next few years from December 2 to September 1, and this year M just makes the cut-off.   M is bright, socially well adapted, tall for his age.  These are not just my impressions, I've had conversations with his preschool teachers, piano teacher, other educational professionals and they all agree that he is an exceptional 4 year old who would probably do just fine in kindergarten. On the other hand, he still would be younger than most kids, doesn't have much interest in worksheets and asks A LOT of questions.  Perhaps too many questions for the average, overburdened public school teacher.

I thought I had come up with a fool-proof kindergarten plan.  I would apply to our top magnet and charter school choices, as well as schools that have 2 year or transitional kindergarten classes.  If we didn't get in anywhere we would just do a 3rd year of preschool and we'd have a chance to re-apply for kindergarten next year.  As expected, we didn't get in to any of the schools we applied to and our wait list positions were pretty dismal (at one school we were simply told that we're on page 5).  I was a bit depressed, but fine with M doing a third year of preschool.  Then the older class at M's small preschool disintegrated-- some kids got into TK, some decided they wanted a full day program, some moved, the end effect being that instead of being one of several 4-5 year olds at the school he would be the oldest kid by 8 months.  Even the preschool director agreed that this situation wasn't best for M and she would prefer to see him move on to kindergarten rather than be in an environment where he wouldn't be challenged.

This development completely blew my semi-zen attitude about schools.  No longer was I calmly saying "there are lots of good choices out there".  I was in panic mode.  I revisited our decision to delay kindergarten a year.  Although deadlines for most magnets and charters were long since passed there were a few nearby language immersion schools (Mandarin or Spanish) that we might still be able to get in.  But if I questioned whether a traditional school was going to be too much for M this year, was he really ready for a traditional school in a foreign language? We are guaranteed a spot at our neighborhood school which a few years ago seemed fine, but a new principal, a testing scandal and some grumbling by local parents has me second guessing it.  I could apply to another preschool, but I hadn't researched preschools for 3 years and had no idea which schools might be a good fit and have openings.

Thankfully, my distraught facebook post led to a few leads and we found a preschool with a 4 and 5 year old class, not too far away, with open spots.  So now M has a place to go to school and, for those of you who saw my Costa Rica post, I do not have a parasite.  All is right in again in the world.

Costa Rican Family Vacation

So we're back from our week long vacation in Costa Rica.  It was fun, but as I struggle through my tenth day of unspeakable digestive tract issues, awaiting lab results to find out if my parents were right and I did in fact catch a parasite in Central America, I'm having a hard time being upbeat about the place.  And then there was our 12 hour flight delay with a unplanned, luggageless overnight stay in San Jose, the fire ants that attacked Baby S, and the night we had Pringles for dinner.  However, if I think back to the first half of our trip, Costa Rica actually was a lovely place to visit with kids.

We stayed just outside Manuel Antonio National Park in a beautiful modern home with a pool overlooking the Pacific.  It was a bit of splurge, but we split the house with another family and were able to get a good deal on the pricing.  It was definitely worth it to have a kitchen, air conditioned bedrooms and a pool.  With 3 kids under 5 we spent a fair amount of time at home for naps and just chilling out and it's much easier to relax sitting next to your private pool overlooking the jungle than in a cramped hotel room.  A few of the trip highlights...

Manuel Antonio National Park- we took a guided hike from the inland park entrance to the beach, Playa Espadilla Sur.  Our guide had a scope to point out animals and we saw monkeys, toucans, sloths, crabs and frogs.  Without the guide we wouldn't have seen anything.  Most of the time even knowing where the animals were perched I couldn't see them without the scope.  The hike was a bit long for the kids, but still enjoyable and the beach was gorgeous.

Damas Island Mangrove tour- this boat tour through the mangrove trees could have been called the "everybody gets a monkey on their head tour".  The mangrove lined canals were beautiful and peaceful and there were plenty of birds to watch, but feeding the monkeys bananas and watching them climb on the kids was definitely the highlight of the tour.  Our boat driver even knew which monkeys to visit-- at one point he steered the boat away from some hungry simians saying "not these guys-- they're mean."  The kids loved it!

Dominical- we spent most of our time in Quepos and Manuel Antonio, which are fine towns, but cater to traditional tourists.  It was a nice change to spend a day in Dominical a small, funky surf town with lots of hostels and people we jokingly referred to as "the Others" wandering about.  The dark sand, rocky beach was wide and empty mid-morning.

Rainmaker - the hike through this small rainforest reserve has a series of hanging bridges as well as a shallow stream and waterfalls you can cool off in.  If I hadn't been so sick I would have really enjoyed this shady walk through the jungle.  As it was, I ignored all warnings of bugs and poisonous dart frogs and laid down in the middle of the trail for a little nap.  The entrance fee included a "tipico" lunch (beans, rice, shredded chicken & tortillas) and fresh squeezed guyabana juice.

El Avion - We had lunch in this restaurant housed in an old cargo plane.  Good food, nice view and the kids had a blast pretending to fly the plane.  Large and kid-friendly, it's on the main road in Manuel Antonio.

El Arado - Our favorite restaurant in Cost Rica-- we came here for dinner and breakfast.  The friendly women who work in the kitchen will cook you up whatever you feel like, although if Saltin, a kind of seafood stew,  is on the menu order it-- you won't regret it.  I also recommend the fresh squeezed watermelon juice. On the old road between Quepos and Manuel Antonio.