Purple Vans with Pink Hearts

M's favorite color is purple.  He's also quite fond of pink.  So when we walked into the Vans store and he saw a pair of purple slip ons with pink hearts, well, those were the shoes he wanted.  Now I  went into Vans shoe store to avoid the fights over $60 light up shoes and ugly shoes with plastic clone wars characters plastered all over them but now I was faced with a whole new shoe dilema.  Do I buy him the shoes he wanted despite the fact that they were clearly intended for girls or do I push him toward the classic checkered Vans?

I've tried to avoid reinforcing gender stereotypes with M.  I was never one of those kooky parents who hid his gender from people, but I've happily painted his toenails pink, watched him dance around in princess dresses and told him that yes, Queen Amidala can fight in battles just like Anakin.  (Of course when I added that girls can do anything boys can do M, ever the contrarian, replied "Can they grow a penis?")  But I balked at buying the purple shoes with the pink hearts.  First I tried distraction, "How about these shoes with the flames?"  Then I tried honesty, "I think these shoes are for girls.  You can get them if you want, but some people might make fun of you."  That didn't phase him either.  I was ready to grudgingly buy the shoes but then the salesman showed him some "ghost flame" shoes and M was sold.  Apparently 20 year old dreadlocked Jason Castro impersonators have more sway with my son than I do.

So he got the "ghost flame" shoes and we continued on with our errands, stocking up on glitter paint and construction paper.  But my reaction to the shoes still kind of bothers me.  I know if my daughter had wanted to get flame shoes or car shoes I wouldn't have thought twice about it.  It seems girls, at least at this age, have much more flexibility with their image than boys do.  I see plenty of little girls on the playground wearing Spiderman t-shirts and Lightning McQueen sneakers, but I never see any boys in Little Mermaid hoodies.  Is it because boys aren't interested in mermaids or is it because parents won't let them be?  I'd like to think that I'd be just as happy if M wanted to be a ballerina as I am that he wants to be an astronaut, but now I'm not sure.  In any case, if one day he does decide to buy the pink shoes I hope he   wears them with aplomb and that I stand behind him smiling proudly.